Happy Birthday, Susan

I once heard a story about a guy who was a pretty renowned speaker who used to travel around orating to large groups, speaking into many lives, making a great living. He was in high demand. He really loved what he did. Then one day, he found out that his wife had a pretty intense disease which had her bedridden and in need of his daily care and attention. He then gave up his career and stayed home tending to his wife. This speaker was once asked in an interview if he regrets giving up his career and having to stay home and care for his wife. He replied to the question, "HAVE to stay home?", "I GET to stay home!". He recognized that there is a wonderful commitment in marriage. For better for worse. In sickness and in health.

We recently saw the mockery of marriage from the Kardashian clan. Outside of the sanctity of marital union being treated so lightly, these folks and often so many others miss out on what the GET to do.

My wife is celebrating the beginning of what I believe (we never can remember) is her 47th year. For the past 14 of these, I have been honored to be her husband. And a few year's prior to our marriage, we became the best of friends. While this is a birthday and not an anniversary, I want to share a little about what I love about my wife and our marriage.

My wife is an amazing person who has always supported the underdog, and throughout our time together, she's been a tremendous supporter of me (a frequent underdog). She is beautiful and still carries the youthful charms from the day I met her and I am crazy about. She has maintained friendships since her youth and loves her parents (all three of them) dearly. She is devoted and can be counted on through good times and bad. She loves her children and desires the best for them and from them. She is imperfect. She puts up with me. And I love her.

And I love what we GET to do. We GET to walk through life together. We GET to struggle together. We GET to laugh together. We GET to cry together. We GET to serve each other. We GET to course correct each other. We GET to build each other up. We GET to love each other....even when it is hard.

Life is hard. Relationships are hard. But the robustness of life and marriage comes from what we GET to go through together. All of us.

I love you, Susan. I am honored you love me. Happy Birthday.

Reinventive Reality

Its been said that if you dress for success, you'll be successful. We react to things that happen in our personal or professional lives and try to change a status quo, change an appearance, change a perception, change something to what our idea of it ought to be.

Over my 40 plus years, I have reinvented myself (or at least tried to) on many occasions. I've dressed a part. Talked a part. Learned a part. Or pretended a part. I believe these reinventions are misdirected. The driver is not ourselves*. It's the girl. The neighbor. The boss. The client. And reinvention is not sustainable in and of itself. There needs to be transformation.

I am in my fourth year of being a non-smoker. There is a line in the movie Dead Again that states. "Someone is either a smoker or a nonsmoker. There's no in-between. The trick is to find out which one you are, and be that." Of course, mine was not as easy as finding out which one I was and simply being that.  I can recall so many times where I tried to reinvent myself as a non-smoker. After all, it wasn't good for my health, and the social acceptance had more than waned over the years. There were countless New Years, Birthdays, and Mondays which were to be my catalyst of change. But they weren't. I needed transformation.

You see, God made me (all of us), and wants a relationship with me. At its deepest level. And smoking was a stumbling block. A wall. An idol. I knew it. And I couldn't remove it on my own. I couldn't just find which one I was and be that. It took an act of God to transform me. And He did. When I stopped doing it on my own and allowed him to own it.

I've even tried to reinvent myself with God many times. And it has always been well intentioned. To be a better "christian", a better witness, a better husband, a better father, a better person. But I have found it unsustainable in and of itself without transformation. And He is in the business of transformation.

How many of us walk around wanting to be things that we (or others) think we need to be—to reinvent ourselves? I know I stupidly battle others' impressions of me and lose sight of God's perception. His eternal perception. He had something in mind when he made me. Why would I want to be anything different.

What do you wish to change. To reinvent? Can you just muster up the mojo and do it on your own?





*Surely we can learn new things to grow educationally or vocationally. Or take up things like kayaking, or running which are good for us physically, and perhaps spiritually, but this is not reinvention, or at least not as I am talking about it.

Decisions, Decisions

As a parent, we can only do so much to influence our children's decision making. We rear them as best we can. Communicate with them as best we can. Expose them to things. And so on. Ultimately they're on their own. And will have choices to make. For better or worse.

If one of my boys is having some decision-making time, there are a few ways they'd respond:

1. I am gonna ask Dad about that and follow through accordingly
2. I am gonna ask Dad about that, then make my own decision
3. I know what Dad would say and I'll do that
4. I know what Dad would say and I won't do as he'd want

And as they get older, I'd imagine its:

1. I believe that it is fine to do that
2. I know I shouldn't do that

In Matthew 8 we hear the story of the Centurion who describes himself as "a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, ‘Go!’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this!’ and he does it."

My kids are under authority. Mine (or my wife's), their own, or that of their choosing. I don't have a lot of control over it. I pray. And I trust God. He made them after all. And His desires for them are far better than mine.

But who's authority do I choose to be under? All too often an incorrect authority - my own, or one of my choosing (hope that's not the case with my kids).

There is a fine line of life under authority, and "the way is narrow that leads to life". It takes, discipline, effort, and a willingness to live under authority - wherever that authority leads. If I choose to live under God's authority, I need to be in communion with Him. And sensitive to the pulse of the Spirit. I cannot do it on my own.

Who Occupies Your Street?

So there's all of these "Occupy Wall Street" protests going on now. And its amazing at all of the storylines. Fox News will tell you one thing MSNBC will tell another. And we each have our own takes based on what we believe and know.

I am one of those folks who may not know a lot, but I believe a lot*. I am not a financial or business guru. Never have been, never will be. Additionally, I am not blind. Clearly there is financial disparity in our country. In our world. And clearly there are the selfish and there are the givers.

The protestors are definitely having impact in that they are causing folks to think and react. Perhaps that is a chief goal of theirs. Perhaps not. Perhaps its more institutional change. Our governing change. Frankly its probably a lot of the above dependent upon the person.

And that's the thing. While these folks are occupying streets and parks, they cannot occupy the individual. Influence yes. Occupy no. So, who occupies your street?

I'm not sure we'll ever live in a land of equality. There will always be differing opinions, religions, races, and rearing. But what we do with our own street is where we have impact. Or what impacts us. We can't control with our street, we can only influence. Put ourselves out there. Share. Serve. Give. Take. Withhold. Spend. It is my street and I allow its occupants. It could be myself, others, systems of beliefs, etc.

We see these protestors on the television. We form opinions. We point fingers. Yeah, we are so darn good at pointing fingers. Them too.

This may be a no win situation. You cannot legislate morality, mercy or compassion.

Jesus was a street occupier. Still is. Back in the day, He constantly challenged governing authorities. Especially the church. Questioned it to look at itself. And in turn, us to examine ourselves. Jesus causes us to look at our "own street". And examine what we're doing with it. Or who is occupying it. He steered to compassion and mercy. Pointed his finger. All the way to the cross. He knew what His street was about.

In all honesty, I am a finger pointer. A judger. I allow so much to occupy my street. Sometimes a lot less. Sometimes a lot more.

Jesus called us to compassion and mercy. But not to point fingers or judge. We don't know what is truly going on with each individual's street. We can look at an aggregate and form an opinion. Perhaps rightly so. But we can't lump all individual's streets together.

"So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

Paul calls us to "examine ourselves". And Jesus to remove our own "planks" before commenting on splinters of others. Who's occupying your street today? This moment? Each moment?





*You could argue that believing is knowing, dependent upon the degree or reality of beliefs or experience from believing. A topic for another discussion.

Only Human

I was listening to NPR and they were describing the Somalian refugees fleeing their country's famine and violence to Kenya, where they are encountering another layer of violence and lack of food. Their are nearly 30,000 children under 5 dead as a result of this horror.

Rapper, Kaynon, a Somalian by birth, was being interviewed and asked if and how he would use his art and celebrity to bring awareness to, or somehow affect this crisis. His reply was quite outstanding, thought provoking, and authentically honest. 

"I am just a human being dealing with these circumstances." Profound.

We are just humans dealing with circumstances. But we don't have to go it alone. Yes, we have others to walk through valleys with us. Others who've worn our shoes and can provide wisdom. And this is good. But God Himself can be with us in our circumstances. No matter how horrific. We just need to ask and seek.

"I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever" (John 14:16). 

Not sure how this will help me make sense of 30,000 dead. I guess I could say that this is a result of sin in the world. And it may be. But I can't write it off as just that. There is a lot more at stake around us. A lot more places we can live into. A lot more people we can love. We just need to ask and seek them. Then act.

And I can just sit here. Safe in my suburban America. Yet atrocities abound around the world. Even next door if I am looking. Shame on me when I sit.

Engine Idol

I was listening to a podcast of Bob Rowland, Pastor of something or other at our church. I know he has something to do with family and parenting. Anyway, he was describing how good we are at making idols. He even described us as being idol factories. And that idols require sacrifice.

I think, typically when we look at idols, the calf, the Sphinx, even Greg Brady's Hawaiian necklace comes to mind. But if we dig a little deeper we may see images of work, status, our children's success, even position in the church.

But what idols really drive us. Push us towards things that become in the place of God.

God made it pretty clear to Moses and everybody that we shouldn't have any other things in His place. His first place. And yet we put things there.

I believe that our deep drivers. The real engines that push us (well surely me) toward idol worship are things like acceptance, affirmation, or demanded respect. And our idols build from there. They then move on to take the forms of the idols we are familiar with—the ones we point our fingers at.

1. Dad spends way too much time at the virtual office, let alone at the brick and mortar venue because he wouldn't want to be viewed as lazy.
2. Mom spends too much time planning the kids schedule because she wouldn't want her kids not competing and doing as everyone else.
3. Johnny spends too much time online because he can find more interest—a more provoking life—online than offline.
4. Mary spends too much time in front of the mirror because she doesn't want her classmates to see her as ugly.
5. Bill checks another item off of his list of "things to make me a good Christian" because it will put his mind at ease that he was ogling Glen's wife.
6. Etc., etc.

And these things are easy to point our fingers at. We see these so much in others. And condemn the surface idol*. I believe the "what" becomes the issue. The thing we need to "change" or simply put a band-aid on. And the "why" is not addressed. Ergo the next idol brewing.

What are the engines for our idols? And what do we sacrifice to keep them running? And have we asked why?


*Clearly there are some idols which need to be addressed for their own sake. But the deep-rooted idol needs the attention as well.

Bubble Boy

Sometimes I feel like I walk around with some sort of protective layer outside of me. A layer that creates a buffer from the world. Or those things which could affect me. Recently its shown itself as a buffer of cynicism—keeping me a peg above folks and well protected from any opportunities for relationship and understanding. Often keeping my ears sealed.

Its easy to protect yourself when you keep things at bay. After all, defense wins Super Bowls.

Its easy for me to be smarter, wittier, more creative, more correct, more "christian", or oddly more anti "christian", within my protective bubble.

I was in a conversation with one of those acquaintance friends (the kind of one that you might not put the "friend" label on, but have a liking for and have dialogued with). We were talking about how we have preconceived notions about people based on what we've heard, or based on a limited experience. And it became clear that I am not alone with my buffers. Wrong as they may be.

My buffers show up to protect myself and my opinions. They rationalize. They don't allow for influence. They don't allow for understanding. They don't allow for true opportunities to love.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"*

Our Senior Pastor stated yesterday morning that "God wants to be preeminent, not prominent."

My biggest stumbling block to give God the position of preeminence is me.

When we put God as preeminent he provides the buffer. He provides the protection. He provides the lens. He provides the understanding—the love. Now God's protection is just that—His protection. The type of protection that is out-of-this-world. One which we most likely wouldn't understand all the time. And this might not take the form we'd want. His protection may be painful.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds"**

Joy in trials. Not my cup of tea. But God's cup. And it overflows.




* Matthew 7:3
** 1 James:2