Checking Yourself

Do we recognize our proper position in relationships? In every relationship: husband to wife; parent to child; employee to employer; friend to friend; citizen to citizen; child of God to God himself, do we examine ourselves? And at what frequency? And do we embrace it, succomb to it, or battle against it?

Frankly, this can make or break any relationship. There are two sides to this coin. Both behaving and relating appropriately. Are we doing are part, or critically examining the other?

I'll Take the Rest

I am a worker and a doer. I've shared with colleagues and others that I've got a propensity to, when a project or opportunity gets large and needs heavy attention, take the dammit, just work harder and work more default approach. That's just how I am—how God made me. I have a deep appreciation for strategic thinking and planning, and believe I am pretty good at it. But when the stove begins to heat up, my first response is to my default.

Yesterday, Crawford Loritts, our Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, GA, painted a wonderful picture of Christ's supremacy over all things. He (Loritts) particularly referenced one of Jesus' miracles He (Jesus) performed while crossing the Sea of Galilee. In a nutshell, Jesus and his highly-trained fishermen disciples are on a boat ride and the wind kicks up pretty bad. Thunder, lighting, waves, etc. These highly-trained fishermen are freaking out and Jesus is sleeping in the back of the boat. The guys wake him up and want him to fix this. Jesus stands up and, as commander of creation, exclaims "Peace! Be still!" to which His creation complies.

Well I realize I, as His creation, have not be complying. I took some rest this Sabbath. It feels good. At this moment, I am amid a large project, and will continue to work and do, however I need to make sure to steal some time for rest and meditation along the way.

Silencing Sponge Bob

I love the ability of a parent to tune out the day-to-day household din. Perhaps particularly a dad, 'cause guys seem to have an innate ability to do so. There have been instances where the kids may have been out of the house for 2o minutes and my wife and I will suddenly look at each other and realize that the TV has been blaring the likes of iCarly, Sponge Bob, or one of the Jonas brothers. (On a side note, the new Jonas Brothers show is very much like the Monkees of old, and I actually enjoy the nostalgia of it.)

Today I have no noise from Nickelodeon. My wife and the boys have snuck out of town for a few days. This provides me, not only time to crank out a ton of work, but to have some rare time to myself. So last night I enjoyed a few fine ales and fine conversation with a good friend and a new acquaintance. A conversation topic was this clutter of technology and constant entertainment—the "Sponge Bob Effect"—and its affect on our kids. Not that technology, etc. is altogether bad—frankly, it can be a great thing. But I know there is a need for parents to carve out time for themselves and time with the kids (or time for the kids themselves)—away from the iPods, workloads, Nickelodeon, etc. I am glad my wife has carved some out.

I have started a new book. Shaped By God by Max Lucado. Having read the first bit seems like its gonna speak wonders and provide me a lot of "I wonders". Last week I finished Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Miller's book has, and from the looks of it, Lucado's will really challenge me and my life. A Million Miles looks at the "story" of one's life. Asking if we are living a challenging, exciting, wonderful, scary, motivating, etc. life-story. Shaped, I believe, will be taking those deep life-story questions even deeper.


When I was within Lucado's book, my wife texted a black and white picture of the boys standing in the sand, arms around each other, and smiling at me. I gotta tell you this really moved me. Amid my meditation on my life, my life story, and the growth thereof, I am sent an image of two of the critical characters in that story.

Along with, and alongside my wife, I've got to silence Sponge Bob and bring myself, my family and my story to a greater and greater place. To get there, these are some important factors I must continuously nourish:

• My wife and our relationship
• A close and honoring conversation with God
• The wisdom, relationship and support of friends and the body of Christ
• Consistent time in the Word
• Open ears
• A gracious heart
• A gracious tongue
• A servant heart
  
• Availability

My prayer is that I remember these things daily and don't get caught up in my own life clamor.

When I was Your Age...

Refound a radio station yesterday. They have reformatted an old smooth jazz station (yes, I do like me some smooth jazz), to a 70s, 80s R&B station. Very good.

It is amazing how much of the great music from those decades has influenced today's young artists. And how much they've butchered some of the hip hop genre turning it into overproduced hip "pop". As an occasional curmudgeon, it gave me a nice "kids these days" moment. But man, how good is some of that older stuff.

Hiding the Hoard

I am sure a lot of you have seen the A&E show Hoarders. This show is pretty fascinating. My wife and I were watching last night, and they shared the story of an Atlanta-based Hoarder (let's call her Ingrid). It was so intriguing. There was a portion of the show where they showed Ingrid piddling around outside her home, which had a few items scattered about. But when she lifted her garage door, there was, from floor to ceiling, tons of just stuff. Ingrid is starting to get concerned that the neighbors may call the authorities and she could lose her home. When the camera's brought us inside her home, it was an absolutely piled upon piled mess. Her water was off so her bathroom was now storage. The corner of Ingrid's bed, where she only has room to sit and sleep had about 5 strands of fly paper hanging above it. Her hoard was becoming too big to hide, and Ingrid is dramatically affected by it.

Another story: I had the privilege a few years ago to take a trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for a pseudo retreat with a group of about 12 guys. A couple of guys organize these retreats to bring men together, away from their work, their responsibilities and family, and allow them a break, some recreation, beer and food, and fun —all the while engaging in deep conversation and spirit-lead relationship.

One of the things the organizers like to do is, when pairing bunkmates for this trip, is to match up some interesting duos. Well mine (let's call him Ralph) was a traditional, pretty straight laced, multi-vitamin pack per meal eating, athlete. A big fit guy. Well, if you know me, I'm not.

When we went to our rooms, Ralph introduced himself to me sharing his wife and kids rundown and that he does something athletics-driven for a vocation. I said "Hello, I am Rick. I have a wife and two boys. And I am gonna be the one who drinks too much, swears to much, and may make a fool of myself". To which he replied "I hide all my sin on the inside" I LOVE Ralph for that. For a guy who "hides his sin on the inside" that is pretty freaking transparent. Ralph and I got along really well, and had an amazing time.

Ralph essentially admitted to me that he was a Hoarder. Not the stuff kind, but the inner-stuff kind. The sin we don't want anyone to see or know about. We all hoard stuff. Its just what do we do with it. Do we:

• Deny it
• Over expose it
• Bury it
• Fight with it
• Strategically confess and repent
• Truly confess and repent
  

Regardless, it has to be dealt with. God requires us to be nimble and available to serve—which we cannot do if we keep all this stuff hoarded up. Through Christ's death on the cross, he has provided the change agent through which to rid ourselves as well as manage all the stuff. Its just up to us to accept it. And He asks us to accept it daily. Moment by moment.

If we don't, we most likely will end up like Ingrid. Becoming overwhelmed and unable to manage the hoard alone. Concerned the neighbors may discover the secret.

Mornings, Healthcare & My 90

It is always an interesting school morning in my house. You never know what side of the bed any one of us is going to get out of. And, let's just say there are some usual suspects. Does wrong side of bed grouch beget another grouch? And what happens to the right side of the bed? Does the right side metamorphose into a wrong sider as well?

This reminded of some words from Chuck Swindoll regarding our attitude:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.



Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.



The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.



And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."

I absolutely love this—the 90% thing. It really gives us quite a bit of control within any situation—even those out or our control.

Recently, there has been a lot of blubbering about Health Care Reform. I can see two sides to this story. The ways and means to essentially "care" for the people in our country are pretty broad. As of today, the Federal Government has taken over quite a bit of the "care" of our citizens. There are a lot of people, and even states which are pissed off about this.

I wonder about one thing. And believe another.

I wonder what the attitude will be with this recent shift. What will be done with their/our/my 90%. Certainly there will be yelling. Certainly there will be stumping. Certainly there will be joy. Certainly there will be cynicism. Certainly there will be sighs of relief. There most likely will even be lawsuits. And yes, there will be voting.

I believe that this Reform was unnecessary, and should not have even been part of the story. I believe that we as individuals, and moreover the "church" itself have not been doing a lot with our/their 90% in the first place. We have failed to fully care for, contribute to, and help heal our fellow folks? I believe this is our individual role, and the role of faith-based institutions (those which espouse to do such things at least). Certainly there are those which do this well, but I am speaking broadly.

Healthcare is timely debate right now, but what about everyday and always. What is the attitude we take for each day? Do we choose to take control of all situations and use 90%? And are we considering that our 90% can have both positive or negative impact.

Doing It Again

What keeps us going back to the well. What are the drivers to continuously move forward—continuously improve, at work, in relationships, in competitions, with personal concerns, with cultural concerns, during crisis. The list is long:

• Responsibility
• Recognition
• Money
• Servitude
• Habit
• Faith
• Family
• Sense of Ownership
• Reputation
  
• Sport
  
• Competition
• Victory
• Reward
• Security
• and More

Sometimes it's one or more drivers. Sometimes we can be motivated by one thing, and wish it were another.