Self Service

The compassion toward a greater domestic and world need seems to be more apparent than ever.  Perhaps because there is a greater need than ever. There's definitely a 60's quality to it. Occupy protests and ideologically-driven recommendations are debated. Lots of organizations focused on the poor, the aids-ridden, world debt. Continents and third world nations are focused upon to bring micro economies, clean water, and lifting general living conditions.

We hear of great organizations like Tom's Shoes who makes shoes and gives a pair to a child in need for every pair bought. Shaun's Shades and their buy their sunglasses and glasses are given to help the visually impaired. Matchstic, an Atlanta-based branding firm has their On the House program offering their branding and design talents to qualified organizations and non profits. And a friend of mine has recently started Mwana providing blankets for African babies to sleep well through a cold night.

These are all great organizations that are applying gifts and incredible talents in wonderful ways to serve others.

I was in a brief conversation yesterday with a guy and we were touching base on how wonderful organizations like the above have taken entrepreneurial efforts for the benefit of others. And we were speaking about the talent of the entrepreneur. Their skill set, their vision, and drive. And how we may not all possess those talents to do something like that.

But we can. It can start with our neighbor. Its an attitude.

I believe we should all carry that spirit. Not that we must start some 501c3 organization to find clean water sources to qualify. But identify the needs within our community. Our neighborhoods. Our friends. Our areas of influence. The opportunity is there.

And we need to start with activity. Not an "I should really do something like that", but just freaking do it. Steal time. Reach out. Get creative.

I am such a group follower and can be swayed and influenced by the mob. If a group movement is taking place, I'm in. But I need to stretch beyond that. These are individual decisions to act upon. And some of them may be God-breathed. We must respond. And I am holding myself accountable to this with the words on this page.

I'm not talking "pay it forward". I am talking investment.

Proverbs 21:13 “If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.”

James 1:27 “Religion that God our father counts as pure and faultless is this, to look after widows and orphans in their distress, and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

And then, let's not make a big deal about it. Facebook doesn't need to know of your good deeds.

Imagine a movement of individuals taking individual steps to reach the needy, and impact their situations. And nobody heard about it.

Mark 7:35-36 "At this, the man’s ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly. Jesus commanded them not to tell anyone." 

Matthew 6:17-18 "But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

Who Do You Say?

A week or so ago, I watched a spoken word video ( Jesus > Religion ) about Jesus being greater than Religion. As a matter of fact, the artist boldly says he loves Jesus and hates religion. And that Jesus hated religion. Definitely an interesting perspective, and a lot of it I agree with (some, I am not smart enough to understand).

There is a lot of discussion around religion. The religion of "coexistence"—whether your religion impedes on mine. The religion of performance and reputation. The religion of ideologies. The religion of piety. The religion of values. The religion of love for the fellow man. The religion of intelligence. The religion of our educations. The religion of our jobs. The religion of our health. The religion of doubt. The religion of no religion.

And we all want our religion to be "right". To win the argument.

This morning on a walk I was listening to an audio version of the Book of Matthew. I didn't think I was going to like an audio Bible, but it actually was a unique experience. While I can't reread a verse, make notes, etc. it did sort of have a real time quality which allowed me to pace along with the author. In an odd way, physically walking brought some sort of feeling like I was there with guys like Andrew and Peter.

So I walked along through the birth, the beatitudes, the miracles, feeding tons of people with a little bit of food. And the stuff Jesus said and did was amazing. Very counter-culture. Very counter-pharisee. Very healing. He is attacked by the church throughout. And reached out to by the poor, the social outcasts, and the forgotten. And he loves them. And he heals them.

And his disciples are a part of this. Seeing all of this. This Jesus is amazing to them. He is healing people. And saying ground breaking things. And he tells them to go out and do all of the same things. Heal. Love. Serve. All very cool.

Then Jesus asks the disciples what other people say about him. Some say he is a prophet, a great teacher, John the Baptist, maybe even people said he was an example of how we should treat others. Or someone like Mother Theresa. Or somebody really nice. Or an exclusionist. Or a blasphemer. Or the devil himself.

He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”

Jesus heard their answers and seemed to be pleased with what they said.

Then he tells them he is going to die. Oddly, by the request of religious people in the church. And the hands of government officials.

Now I don't know that I hate religion. Hate is a strong word. There is so much confusion, piety, reputation-concern, vanity, pride, oppression within all aspects of religion. And in life, we judge each others' faith and actions.

But Jesus is fly in the religion soup. Who do you say that He is?





Note: Clearly there is atonement of relationship with God through Jesus' sacrificial death and the grace which follows is beyond our understanding. My intention is not to belittle the magnitude of this with a "soup" comment. Just using some creative freedom to make a point about Him being an agitation to society and religion in general. 

New Year's Evolution

Spent the holidays driving through much of the northern midwest with the family. The four of us in our Xterra. Boys in the back playing a portfolio of video games on hand held and rigged devises. My wife as navigator and status updater. We spent nights in Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Kentucky. With a few day trips to a handful of others. Pleasantly, we didn't encounter too much of the wintry stuff. Sure it was cold, but only short moments of the rip-through-your-skin and seek shelter winds. And just enough snowfall to allow for a day of skiing (I as an observer from the chalet bar) and a dreamlike New Year's Eve of snowball fights, snowmen and oddly enough, a snow recliner. A beautiful time with extended family mixed with intimate moments of the four of us. We racked up nearly 3,000 miles. A long haul.

We have always been the road warriors. My kids are one of a handful that believe you are actually close to something if you have an hour and a half car ride ahead of you. The trips have gotten better and better. The percentage of down time to complaining time has drastically decreased over the years. And I really enjoy it myself. I do the driving. My wife does the managing. The boys have grown tolerant and find joy in the journey themselves. One of the major highlights for me is the open road. Miles and miles. Hours and hours of time to: Weigh life and all of its nuances, challenge my attitude and activities, and do a heckofa lot of daydreaming.

The daydreaming. The thinking. The internal "what if" sessions are even more intensified on these long trips when they fall at year's end. Visions of resolutions mixed with "is this really what I want to be doing with my life" pepper in and out. I love this. I believe too many of us don't take this time to self examine for a long duration. Sure we have our moments in the dark, face up on the mattress, but hours and hours on end are unique.

So as for my thoughts going in to 2012 (Wow, 2012. Thought we'd be in flying cars by now.).

• Clearly I could lose a few pounds
• Need to achieve a better work/life balance
• Need to exercise more
• Yadda Yadda Yadda

What really stands out for me is my attitude. My person. Not that I am walking around pissy. I just want to be less meddlesome, less wrongly concerned, less worried, more considerate of others, more giving of my talents, more active, more serving, more adventurous, more bold, more available for whatever.

All those things for me (and I'd think most) are clearly unsustainable as a resolution. Or with a strategic plan. Or by pulling up my bootstraps. I believe I'd have to evolve into a being more like Jesus. I guess that's a tall order. Being like Jesus. Perhaps even one I might regret. After all, He had a rough go of it. Really rough.

But THIS road. This long road of evolution. Takes more than gas and a map. It requires the road of Calvary. And of dieing to myself daily. It requires a deeper understanding of Jesus himself. And I can't travel that road and don't have the fuel to do so alone.

I can't do it. I need Him to.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in me will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.* I can't go THIS evolution alone.

We can't evolve without other influences or agents which cause appropriate change. Be it a Darwinian-believed reach requirement evolving a giraffe's neck. Or me becoming less an ape.

I need Jesus to make me be like Jesus.

He's done the redeeming work. Allowing God to be able to see us clean, and as his own again. Now I need to let him evolve this ape out of me. And transform me into something better. More adapt at understanding, dealing with, and leading within this world. Moment by moment. Decision by decision. Action by action.


*Referring to Philippians 1:6

Relationship Status

I am off of work today. Sort of. And it has afforded me some free time. Of which I am taking advantage. So I lengthened my Friday morning coffee time to a few hours. I meet with a group of guys every Friday morning at the local Panera Bread. There's usually about eight of us. And I really enjoy it. Some days more than others. Today was a good day. The conversation actually got pretty heavy and exploratory. Which I love. Panera turned into a few conversations with some other fellas at Starbuck's (needless to say, I am pretty jacked up on caffeine right now, so please excuse any rambling or typos).

So now I've moved to a little table that I could plug my power cord in. It has me positioned next to a couple of ladies who seem to be in their late 40s or early 50s. As I sat down their conversation hushed as one of them finished their sentence saying something about getting out of debt.

It is amazing how we all have stuff that we all go through. Some things we feel we have to hush as they may seem embarrassing, like debt, or underachievement, or failed marriages, or joblessness, or confusion.

What is nice is that these two ladies have each other. This doesn't seem to be some sort of commiseration, or simply a "buck up" kind of conversation. These two appear to have quite a relationship. They're not resolving everything here and now. They are caring for each other and conversing.

Our status of relationships is so important. The quality. Relationships built on trust, transparency, respect, right position, servitude, joy (or more).

I believe God has created us to be in relationships. And that we need to be in ones that exhibit these qualities and more. Be it romantic, friendship, professional, parental, spousal. These qualities have to be there for them to be effective, accountable, beneficial, and fulfilling.

Now each relationship may have different degrees as to what is appropriate. Like I may not be quite as transparent about certain things with my son as I might my wife. But I will act in accordance with my position as Dad. And to truly have that relationship work, my son would act in accordance with his position as Son. But I will serve him. And he will serve me. If the relationship is right.

So to is it with the balance of them. Right relations. "It is not good for man to be alone."

Monkey Me

Jesse Rice, author of The Church of Facebook, recently stated in his blog, "I can never live up to the expectations of my imaginary audience." In a nutshell he discussed how our status updates, photo posts, etc. are posted with the hopes of making some type of impression on our "friends" to have them see us in a certain light. I myself have discussed this in a past postings (see Social Medium or Unlike Cynicism), nor am I dogging Facebook and its users, but this "imaginary audience" idea struck me.

I guess we are always in some sort of performance. A performance that plays out every day in what we wear, how good a job we do, or how many people like us. Facebook just provides us another stage. A stage that's easier to put a mask on and act out.

But why act.

Everyday I let my ego or insecurities get the better of me. I can cling to a "Do they like what I did?", "Do they think I was stupid?", "Do they think that other person is better?".

That darn audience of colleagues, neighbors, strangers, family, or "friends". Its always there. Beckoning for my performance. And there I am like a monkey with a little cap and tin cup. Hopping around. "Like me!", "Like me!". And I wanna make sure it—my performance...well, me—is acceptable.

Perhaps this is some sort of Freudian result of my upbringing. Perhaps not.

But why do we need the approval of an audience anyway? Is it the rush from their applause and approval? I believe that deep down it is a perspective, a choice, a vacancy. That I can try to overcome myself through positive-thinking, addiction, business, success, etc. Or I must ask God to fill daily—even more often. And a lot of days I muddle through without embracing that understanding. And He will let me sit with my tin cup and jump and jump. He will put people and occurrences in my life as if to say "Hey Monkey, remember me? It ain't about you and your little cup and hat." Thank goodness...

Happy Birthday, Susan

I once heard a story about a guy who was a pretty renowned speaker who used to travel around orating to large groups, speaking into many lives, making a great living. He was in high demand. He really loved what he did. Then one day, he found out that his wife had a pretty intense disease which had her bedridden and in need of his daily care and attention. He then gave up his career and stayed home tending to his wife. This speaker was once asked in an interview if he regrets giving up his career and having to stay home and care for his wife. He replied to the question, "HAVE to stay home?", "I GET to stay home!". He recognized that there is a wonderful commitment in marriage. For better for worse. In sickness and in health.

We recently saw the mockery of marriage from the Kardashian clan. Outside of the sanctity of marital union being treated so lightly, these folks and often so many others miss out on what the GET to do.

My wife is celebrating the beginning of what I believe (we never can remember) is her 47th year. For the past 14 of these, I have been honored to be her husband. And a few year's prior to our marriage, we became the best of friends. While this is a birthday and not an anniversary, I want to share a little about what I love about my wife and our marriage.

My wife is an amazing person who has always supported the underdog, and throughout our time together, she's been a tremendous supporter of me (a frequent underdog). She is beautiful and still carries the youthful charms from the day I met her and I am crazy about. She has maintained friendships since her youth and loves her parents (all three of them) dearly. She is devoted and can be counted on through good times and bad. She loves her children and desires the best for them and from them. She is imperfect. She puts up with me. And I love her.

And I love what we GET to do. We GET to walk through life together. We GET to struggle together. We GET to laugh together. We GET to cry together. We GET to serve each other. We GET to course correct each other. We GET to build each other up. We GET to love each other....even when it is hard.

Life is hard. Relationships are hard. But the robustness of life and marriage comes from what we GET to go through together. All of us.

I love you, Susan. I am honored you love me. Happy Birthday.

Reinventive Reality

Its been said that if you dress for success, you'll be successful. We react to things that happen in our personal or professional lives and try to change a status quo, change an appearance, change a perception, change something to what our idea of it ought to be.

Over my 40 plus years, I have reinvented myself (or at least tried to) on many occasions. I've dressed a part. Talked a part. Learned a part. Or pretended a part. I believe these reinventions are misdirected. The driver is not ourselves*. It's the girl. The neighbor. The boss. The client. And reinvention is not sustainable in and of itself. There needs to be transformation.

I am in my fourth year of being a non-smoker. There is a line in the movie Dead Again that states. "Someone is either a smoker or a nonsmoker. There's no in-between. The trick is to find out which one you are, and be that." Of course, mine was not as easy as finding out which one I was and simply being that.  I can recall so many times where I tried to reinvent myself as a non-smoker. After all, it wasn't good for my health, and the social acceptance had more than waned over the years. There were countless New Years, Birthdays, and Mondays which were to be my catalyst of change. But they weren't. I needed transformation.

You see, God made me (all of us), and wants a relationship with me. At its deepest level. And smoking was a stumbling block. A wall. An idol. I knew it. And I couldn't remove it on my own. I couldn't just find which one I was and be that. It took an act of God to transform me. And He did. When I stopped doing it on my own and allowed him to own it.

I've even tried to reinvent myself with God many times. And it has always been well intentioned. To be a better "christian", a better witness, a better husband, a better father, a better person. But I have found it unsustainable in and of itself without transformation. And He is in the business of transformation.

How many of us walk around wanting to be things that we (or others) think we need to be—to reinvent ourselves? I know I stupidly battle others' impressions of me and lose sight of God's perception. His eternal perception. He had something in mind when he made me. Why would I want to be anything different.

What do you wish to change. To reinvent? Can you just muster up the mojo and do it on your own?





*Surely we can learn new things to grow educationally or vocationally. Or take up things like kayaking, or running which are good for us physically, and perhaps spiritually, but this is not reinvention, or at least not as I am talking about it.