Rigid Wisdom

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Is the old dog dumb? Too set in his ways? Or too wise for the young dogs.

A lot of young dogs think they're smart. Some may have experienced a good bit over their brief life. Things which may have afforded them wisdom. Some may have had a good master who trained them (the master plays a big role here, but that's a topic for another day). Some may just be born a little smarter in some respects.

A lot of old dogs have done stuff. Experienced stuff. Learned stuff. Landed-upon stuff. And perhaps become a little rigid.

I think when Solomon was asked by God what he wanted if he could have anything in the world, his reply was "Wisdom". 1 Kings 4:34 shares, "From all nations people came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, sent by all the kings of the world, who had heard of his wisdom." So Solomon was a wise guy. Folks revered him for his God-given wisdom. But was Solomon an old dog? I don't know. He was wise, though. Perhaps wise beyond his years. Perhaps wise in an only-Godly sense.

I believe wisdom is flexible, dynamic, adaptable. Wisdom, while it may not necessarily be taught a new trick, clearly could perform one. Perhaps wouldn't an unwise one, but would look into it, and not just right it off.

As we age, we do know more and more. Perhaps even get wiser. But does it become a stumbling block? Or a wall that we can't seem to overcome? Even when there's wonderful new grass or areas of influence and areas to influence on the other side.

I believe that God's wisdom, when humbly sought and humbly applied would have: The look and activity of a new dog —á la a wag of the tail and a potential new trick or two; with the confidence and patience of a dog whose run around the block a good bit.

I can get stuck in my ways, and in what I think I know (and I know some old dogs in this kennel as well). Some of which are probably okay, or even good. However, hope I can remain "new dog" enough to have impact and still enjoy a new trick.

Father's Day: View from a Father

I went to a YouTube video that a friend of mine posted about British athlete Derrick Redmond being assisted across the finish line by his dad after blowing out his hamstring. As I roll into a Saturday morning, this video is pretty intense. But with Father's Day being tomorrow, it makes my position as Father all the more top of mind—all the more important.

As a Dads, we have such a unique view of our children. Not altogether different from that of the Moms, but different none the less. Perhaps particularly as fathers of boys. Or at least that's the perspective I can draw from—'cause that's the one I got.

Having grown up and experienced a good bit (though a ton more to come, I am sure). I know I've dealt with a good bit of trials and tribulations, good times and bad, joys, and pains, over the course of things. When I look at my two boys, whom I adore, and realize that they are gonna go through things I wanna protect them from—as well as things I want them to experience, I can feel a little helpless. Not helpless from having influence and providing wisdom and direction, but I just know there is so much that is out of my hands that they will experience:

• joy
• love
• broken hearts
• addiction
• pride
• pain
• helplessness
• victory
• defeat
• sickness
• health of mind and body
• regret
• ego
• failure
• success

All of this on their own—for themselves. I just pray that I have done, and am living a right role along the way.

I guess I am having more or less an experiential moment as a Dad. Wherein we take a moment to draw back and look at our role. And look at the incredible joys, and deep emotion and potential for pain ahead. A look ahead that is not as a direct participant (or the headliner), but as a role player.

I could imagine (in my finite way) what it must have been like for God to send His Son out into the cold dark world we live in (as a baby none the less). A world that has it fair share of wonderful joy. But also a seemingly unfair share of pains. Jesus had a relation with his Father. Realizing that He (Jesus) was to be the direct participant with this world—knowing his Father was with him.

Creature Comfort

Yesterday I wrote about specific roles in relationships, but I wanted to remind myself that all the defining and understanding of roles is almost pointless if we are not acting in that role. This is not role-playing wherein I would essentially pretend, but moreover role-fulfilling. I spoke of genuineness yesterday. Relationships are truly genuine when you can see the fruit from a fulfilled role.

For example. When discussing things like behavior, respect and boundaries with my sons, often times I hear "okay", "I will", "I understand". Now these words all to often prove a bit hollow—or not genuine. As I have heard them before. However, if I hear these words (or even better, if I don't) and I see the behavior, respect and boundaries play out—see the fruit itself, I can see that it truly is a right relationship. And roles are being fulfilled.

The same holds true with my relationship with God. Now, God loves relationship. He makes them. He fulfills them. He enjoys them. Scripture is clear about this—The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” I need to continuously check my genuineness of my relationship with God. And see if I see fruit. If I don't, I am not in my role of the relationship.

We can't get comfortable in our roles. That is not as God intended relationship. We can find comfort in relationships, but we gotta be careful not to get too comfortable. Too much comfort is not from God. Our relationships must have activity and momentum—our world craves this. Each must be lived out with intention to truly receive the reward (whatever that looks like) intended.

Role in Relation

My oldest son's facebook status states that he's "in a relationship". For his age perhaps that's too young to be in a relationship. Or maybe I'm just too old.

I was in a conversation with a friend the other day and we were discussing the difference between culture and relationship. Culture is defined as "the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group".  Relationship, "a connection, association, or involvement." With these definitions in mind—regarding culture, I think we can believe things and have behaviors, but I am not sure we can create or develop culture, it more or less happens. But with relationship, there is more proactivity. We can pursue relationship. We can start a relationship. We can leave a relationships (most of 'em). We can nurture relationship.

Relationships require people to have a position—a role. I am a husband. I am a Dad. I am a friend. A son. A colleague. A member. An employee. A child of God. Each of these relationships require me to play a certain part. And for each of these relationships to best function, those in them need to understand and fulfill their part.

The Father. The Son. The Holy Spirit. These Guys have it right. Perhaps being all in one is a help. Perhaps being perfect is another. Easy for Them, eh? There must be some sort of otherworldly pulse that goes on as they go about Their business of omnipotence, redemption and wisdom.

So what is my role in my relationships. Different in each, but I must understand and embrace it. I must play it out. With genuineness. If not understood and not genuine, I will not receive from, or bring to the relationship, that which is fullest.

John 1:18 says "No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known." 

Our relationships should make known, or give honor to the others within them. Do I make God known in my relationship with Him and my role as child? Do my actions in public showcase my marriage and my role as a husband. Do my efforts at work prove trustworthy and faithful honoring my role as employee? Does my servitude show my leadership? Does my stewardship and counsel reflect a good dad? 

Philippians 2:5 states "In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus".

I suppose this is the only way I could possibly live each out. Or want to.

Strategery

"Paralysis by analysis". In business we can spend days, even weeks, strategically visiting an opportunity. I personally have over-visited issues on many occasions. Now, don't get me wrong, strategic thinking is a good thing. But I am convinced that it can prove stalling if momentum and work are not ready and waiting with baited breath—knocking at the door—pounding. In business, but mostly in life.

I did a quick search in Biblegateway.com for the word strategy. It turned up once. Isaiah 8:10 states "Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted; propose your plan, but it will not stand, for God is with us." Now the Bible is laden with wisdom, and work.

I am not sure Jesus strategized. Perhaps when He was a boy working alongside his dad in the carpenter shop, they planned out a project. Determining which would be the best size board, and which wood should be used for project X. Then they had to hit the nail with the hammer. Vocationally we should plan, think, and perhaps strategize—then hit the nail. Additionally, when it comes to life, sometimes we become so darn paralyzed by our own planning. I think Jesus was so rooted in God's strategy and His wisdom, that all He could do was act, or move, or go about the work of teaching, healing, loving.

I know the wrist band of the WWJD thing is a bit overused, but during the strategy/planning areas of our work and life, let's make sure we are thinking like Jesus and recognize where its time to know what we know, then act, move, work, teach, heal, love.

Open House

I have become a major Donald Miller fan. He's an author/blogger. He wrote a book entitled A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Could be the best book I've read. I actually have been rereading it via my ears. And have found that a listening to an audio book is altogether a different experience than the printed page. I can't reread a great sentence, but I can get lost in a book in a different way. Anyway, in Million Miles I was introduced, through Don, to a man by the name of Bob Goff, who's a pretty amazing and creative familyman. Bob has a unique way of creating memorable experiences through the act of hospitality. Inspired by this, last weekend I was determined to make something special out of what had the potential to be a run-of-the-mill Saturday.

Last weekend my wife was away with some college girlfriends and it was just me and the boys. I wanted to figure out some sort of Goffian experience for the day. Some imagination later, we decided we'd open a restaurant for the evening where we'd play host, chef and sous-chef to the neighborhood.

Figuring we wanted to keep this pretty simple (we are guys after all), we thought we could grill up some burgers and some dogs, fill a couple of bowls with chips, some bottled water in an icy cooler, and call it a menu.

We wrestled with names, but landed on Three Guys Burgers and Dogs (we are three guys after all). The invitation was designed. Neighborhood mailboxes were stuffed Ground beef was spiced Patties were formed The garage was transformed into a makeshift front-of-house Music was cued. And we waited.

It's hard to wait for a couple of hours when you're excited.

My oldest invited a couple of friends from his bus route. My youngest—a key player amongst the neighborhood kids (and by player, I mean the kid really likes to play)—was on and about ensuring the best attendance from the community.

Now it was an interesting experience for my oldest. He really enjoys cooking and playing host. But on the cusp of being a teenager, this sort of event sits on the border of "embarrassing" and pretty darn cool. To ensure we staved off the "embarrassment", when his friends arrived, I immediately put them to work—pulling them into the event. One was on chip duty. The other bun duty.

In total we had about 15-20 people show up over the course of the evening. And, it turns out it was pretty cool. There was laughter from the kids. Some great conversation amongst the adults who dropped by. A good bit of eating. And a memorable day.

Outside of the enjoyment of watching and participating in others' enjoyment (which was very evident) was the final moments of the day when I was asking my "guys" if they had fun. They both said, yeah, let's do that again.

I plan to.

Hopefully there will be no cease and desist letter coming from the folks at Five Guys....

Where've I Been?

I guess you can say I've been busy. But busy isn't it. I mean, I have been busy, my mind and body that is. But my spirit has not—at least not as it ought. Not in the Word. Not in a great book. Not in prayer. At least, not much. A lot has gone on—some very good, positive stuff. But the good, dialed-in, state of affairs has been on vacation a bit.

I guess we all (I know I have before) go through these seasons. Times where we are preoccupied with work and other things. But I've always discovered that the more dialed-in I am, the better things go along. Or better yet, the more consistent. I've been existing a lot on my own strength. It's been going fine. But I know and feel the difference.

I've shared before about a piece Chuck Swindoll wrote on Attitude, wherein he writes, "I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." I have found that the 90% has had to be more forced, more deliberately called upon. When I am "dialed-in", it shows up more naturally. Sometimes like breathing.

Gotta get my breath back.