Man in the Mirror

“If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves” (Galatians 6:3).

Quite a Monday morning self-gut check courtesy of Wisdom Hunters blog. Oh, and Paul to the Galatians.

Justified, solely by faith.

Who's the Boss

I was in a conversation with a friend yesterday and we were discussing that there are things everyone either believes in or hopes for or knows (or doesn't know). And that we choose which things that have authority over us. (Now, I am not talking cops and scientific laws, etc.) As a matter of fact, if we so allow, there can be many authorities in our lives. Authorities can take the form of our neighbors, our circumstance, our boss, our reputation, our addiction, our self-sufficiency, our faith, our pastor, our children, our spouse, you name it.*

Authorities are in charge. They have power. They reign over our thoughts, words, and deeds. But we define for ourselves to whom we give authority on any given day. I have heard kids shout "You're not the boss of me!" to an annoying older brother or friend who has told them to do something. Clearly these kids have determined who is NOT in charge. I have also heard things like "I am NOT going to let this cancer beat me!" or "They're not gonna tell me what I can and cannot do." or  "I'm not gonna let them talk to me that way" and various forms of "Oh no you didn't."

Things happen to us. Job loss. Illness. Financial distress. Family issues. An incapacitated car. A seemingly slighted reputation. And we clearly can't control a lot of this stuff. But do these have authority over us?

I believe (or I guess, personally give authority to) that there is a God which governs over all and has absolute authority. And even so, He has chosen to allow us to choose our own authorities. Nice of Him.

I guess it would be easy for me to say that I would proclaim "He has authority over my cancer" when I don't have the disease. However, I have had hardships (job issues, financial woes, addictions, a miscarriage, personal issues of all sorts) and have chosen God to have authority over them. It hasn't taken away all of the pain and struggles. But I have put Him in charge. And I am confident in His authority. I pray I continue to do so—it is my choice after all.

Who or what is/are the authorities in your life?


*Obviously we need to recognize position and respond accordingly. For example, I am not gonna tell my boss "you have no control over me or what I do", while he may not, I am going to honor his position.

Out of Control

How often does something enter in to your life that makes you realize your utter lack of control over things. Not necessarily "will I get this presentation done on time", but "will I make it through the day". Our lives are so much driven by our desire for our own outcomes. What we think is right.

Now I am not saying we shouldn't plan or set goals and what not. Let me share a couple of things.

One. My wife, youngest son and I were sitting in the church balcony on Sunday and our Pastor was teaching out of James 3:13-14 which reads "Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." And our Pastor continued with a teaching around the audacity of control. As he was closing out his sermon, the videographer sitting next to us, passes out. Practically in my wife's lap. She was fine, but given the sermon topic, it added a bit of punctuation to our true control in life.

Two. My wife and I were having a conversation with our babysitter. A young lady going into her senior year of high school. She was sharing how she see's herself a little different than her peers. The things she likes differ from the crowd. I shared a conversation that my wife and I had about how all too often we try to determine things for our children. And that "who are we to determine such outcomes for the wonderful individuals that God has made."

I believe we get so focused on what we think we need to be and do. And that focus so easily gets placed on others—our kids, our neighbors, our spouses, our bosses, our community, our government—what we believe they need to be and do.

Seth Godin recently had a blog posting the other day which kind of gives a different take to this topic which I believe is quite relevant when it comes to control, or determining outcomes. There is a bit of a "hippie" nature to living out of control. And I know those folks smoked a lot of pot.

James 4 continues in verse 17 "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."

Do we know the good we ought to do? Then let's do that. And live more out of control.

Rigid Wisdom

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Is the old dog dumb? Too set in his ways? Or too wise for the young dogs.

A lot of young dogs think they're smart. Some may have experienced a good bit over their brief life. Things which may have afforded them wisdom. Some may have had a good master who trained them (the master plays a big role here, but that's a topic for another day). Some may just be born a little smarter in some respects.

A lot of old dogs have done stuff. Experienced stuff. Learned stuff. Landed-upon stuff. And perhaps become a little rigid.

I think when Solomon was asked by God what he wanted if he could have anything in the world, his reply was "Wisdom". 1 Kings 4:34 shares, "From all nations people came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, sent by all the kings of the world, who had heard of his wisdom." So Solomon was a wise guy. Folks revered him for his God-given wisdom. But was Solomon an old dog? I don't know. He was wise, though. Perhaps wise beyond his years. Perhaps wise in an only-Godly sense.

I believe wisdom is flexible, dynamic, adaptable. Wisdom, while it may not necessarily be taught a new trick, clearly could perform one. Perhaps wouldn't an unwise one, but would look into it, and not just right it off.

As we age, we do know more and more. Perhaps even get wiser. But does it become a stumbling block? Or a wall that we can't seem to overcome? Even when there's wonderful new grass or areas of influence and areas to influence on the other side.

I believe that God's wisdom, when humbly sought and humbly applied would have: The look and activity of a new dog —á la a wag of the tail and a potential new trick or two; with the confidence and patience of a dog whose run around the block a good bit.

I can get stuck in my ways, and in what I think I know (and I know some old dogs in this kennel as well). Some of which are probably okay, or even good. However, hope I can remain "new dog" enough to have impact and still enjoy a new trick.

Father's Day: View from a Father

I went to a YouTube video that a friend of mine posted about British athlete Derrick Redmond being assisted across the finish line by his dad after blowing out his hamstring. As I roll into a Saturday morning, this video is pretty intense. But with Father's Day being tomorrow, it makes my position as Father all the more top of mind—all the more important.

As a Dads, we have such a unique view of our children. Not altogether different from that of the Moms, but different none the less. Perhaps particularly as fathers of boys. Or at least that's the perspective I can draw from—'cause that's the one I got.

Having grown up and experienced a good bit (though a ton more to come, I am sure). I know I've dealt with a good bit of trials and tribulations, good times and bad, joys, and pains, over the course of things. When I look at my two boys, whom I adore, and realize that they are gonna go through things I wanna protect them from—as well as things I want them to experience, I can feel a little helpless. Not helpless from having influence and providing wisdom and direction, but I just know there is so much that is out of my hands that they will experience:

• joy
• love
• broken hearts
• addiction
• pride
• pain
• helplessness
• victory
• defeat
• sickness
• health of mind and body
• regret
• ego
• failure
• success

All of this on their own—for themselves. I just pray that I have done, and am living a right role along the way.

I guess I am having more or less an experiential moment as a Dad. Wherein we take a moment to draw back and look at our role. And look at the incredible joys, and deep emotion and potential for pain ahead. A look ahead that is not as a direct participant (or the headliner), but as a role player.

I could imagine (in my finite way) what it must have been like for God to send His Son out into the cold dark world we live in (as a baby none the less). A world that has it fair share of wonderful joy. But also a seemingly unfair share of pains. Jesus had a relation with his Father. Realizing that He (Jesus) was to be the direct participant with this world—knowing his Father was with him.

Creature Comfort

Yesterday I wrote about specific roles in relationships, but I wanted to remind myself that all the defining and understanding of roles is almost pointless if we are not acting in that role. This is not role-playing wherein I would essentially pretend, but moreover role-fulfilling. I spoke of genuineness yesterday. Relationships are truly genuine when you can see the fruit from a fulfilled role.

For example. When discussing things like behavior, respect and boundaries with my sons, often times I hear "okay", "I will", "I understand". Now these words all to often prove a bit hollow—or not genuine. As I have heard them before. However, if I hear these words (or even better, if I don't) and I see the behavior, respect and boundaries play out—see the fruit itself, I can see that it truly is a right relationship. And roles are being fulfilled.

The same holds true with my relationship with God. Now, God loves relationship. He makes them. He fulfills them. He enjoys them. Scripture is clear about this—The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” I need to continuously check my genuineness of my relationship with God. And see if I see fruit. If I don't, I am not in my role of the relationship.

We can't get comfortable in our roles. That is not as God intended relationship. We can find comfort in relationships, but we gotta be careful not to get too comfortable. Too much comfort is not from God. Our relationships must have activity and momentum—our world craves this. Each must be lived out with intention to truly receive the reward (whatever that looks like) intended.

Role in Relation

My oldest son's facebook status states that he's "in a relationship". For his age perhaps that's too young to be in a relationship. Or maybe I'm just too old.

I was in a conversation with a friend the other day and we were discussing the difference between culture and relationship. Culture is defined as "the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group".  Relationship, "a connection, association, or involvement." With these definitions in mind—regarding culture, I think we can believe things and have behaviors, but I am not sure we can create or develop culture, it more or less happens. But with relationship, there is more proactivity. We can pursue relationship. We can start a relationship. We can leave a relationships (most of 'em). We can nurture relationship.

Relationships require people to have a position—a role. I am a husband. I am a Dad. I am a friend. A son. A colleague. A member. An employee. A child of God. Each of these relationships require me to play a certain part. And for each of these relationships to best function, those in them need to understand and fulfill their part.

The Father. The Son. The Holy Spirit. These Guys have it right. Perhaps being all in one is a help. Perhaps being perfect is another. Easy for Them, eh? There must be some sort of otherworldly pulse that goes on as they go about Their business of omnipotence, redemption and wisdom.

So what is my role in my relationships. Different in each, but I must understand and embrace it. I must play it out. With genuineness. If not understood and not genuine, I will not receive from, or bring to the relationship, that which is fullest.

John 1:18 says "No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known." 

Our relationships should make known, or give honor to the others within them. Do I make God known in my relationship with Him and my role as child? Do my actions in public showcase my marriage and my role as a husband. Do my efforts at work prove trustworthy and faithful honoring my role as employee? Does my servitude show my leadership? Does my stewardship and counsel reflect a good dad? 

Philippians 2:5 states "In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus".

I suppose this is the only way I could possibly live each out. Or want to.