Smart Phones and Dancers

Last night I had the privilege to sit through three and a half hours of elementary school talent show. You may think that "privilege" is sarcastic. It is a bit, but honestly there was a lot running through my head. The truest privilege was that I had my two sons with me, and I could sit with them. While the majority of the talent didn't really hold my attention, there were a few great acts.

There were two waves of performance (acts I suppose). The first wave was the K-3 graders, the second 4-5.

Act I

We sat near the back during the first wave—which included violinists, pianists (always a funny word to say), singers and dancers, etc., there were a couple things running through my head:

1. My oldest boy looked at me like I was crazy when I put my arm on his shoulder.
2. I was determined not to look at my smart phone.

I suppose the crazed look from my 11 year old was part of that threshold crossing of "I love you dad—we've always had a wonderful relationship—I truly appreciate your touch and expressions of love— but I am getting bigger and, I am at school amongst my peers, and am too cool to have my dad touch me in front of anyone".

Now to be clear, when I am speaking about touching my son, I understand in this day and age that can cause an eyebrow to be raised, but what I am talking about here is simply a hand hold, an arm around the shoulder, a rub of the back. I am and have been a toucher in my expression. No need to call Defax.

Back to the story at hand... I recognized this as a turning point. One which I've seen over the last year, but it hit this Dad in full force. My son is pushing away a bit. He is becoming more and more his own person. He will have failures and successes which are all his to own. I just pray that my wife and I have laid a firm foundation. And that he knows we are always here and always will love him.

The smart phone thing—or point #2. First of all, I have an iPhone, but really want to use the term Smart Phone. I think this sounds cooler. While Apple is the epitome of cool, I think I can sort of surpass that in the non use of iWords. So I am sitting there with my boys, next to my youngest (whom I can still put my arm around and "touch") and the reality of the age and talent level of Act I is causing my mind to wander a bit and I struggle not to pick up the smart phone and check on email, who has tweeted, or whatever else. I recall reading or hearing somewhere that these sorts of situations can sear into a child's memory. When they glance up from the soccer field, performance stage, or simply a time together and see dad checking in on his smart phone they may think "gosh, how interested is he really in my life and what I am doing/being." I have had a good friend who recently checked me on the whole prioritization of life/work balance. So I didn't look at my smart phone during this Act.

Act II
At this point, my eldest had ditched us for his buddies and my youngest and I moved to the front row, stage right. Act II clearly had the stronger talent, and was opened up by a saxaphone rendition of God Bless the USA, you know—"I am proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free"— a much appreciated number down here in the southland. The MC of this wave was one of the 2nd grade teachers. A guy. A pretty quirky funny guy who has an affinity for things from the 70s and 80s. I sat there watching this guy and was very thankful that there was a man who was cool, and was influencing (positively I assume, and have heard from others 'cause my kids have never had him) these young men. Also, as he watched the saxaphone you could see a gleam in his eye of appreciation for this young man standing in front of the stage with his crisp white shirt, black pants and tooting away on his instrument. We need more guys like this teacher in our schools. We are fortunate to have him.

Now the talent at this level was heightened. This brought another thought to my head as I watched a 5th grader (looking like an 18 year old) perform a solo dance routine to some hip hop tune which escapes me, or too current for me to have grabbed hold of when I tuned it out on our car radio. This girl could dance. She was good. She was freakin' in 5th grade. Head and shoulders above the rest. She was as old as my first born. Got me thinking about who and what influences our kids. Now I hope I don't sound like a ninny, but I was a bit shocked at some of the music that these kids were singing, lip syncing, dancing to, or performing in one degree or another. Lady Ga Ga and others providing lyrics of dirty love, sex and pomposity through the lips of children.

I think two things:

1. That we/I look back at ourselves at that age. Myself, thought Kiss was the coolest band around. They had lyrics about a guy who saw a 16 year old coming out of school one day and Gene Simmons recites "I've got to have you. I've got to have you." How innocent was I then? How influenced? Did it affect me? Does it still affect me? Perhaps, or perhaps not. I am not too sure. Sometimes I think it did/does. Sometimes perhaps not.
2. How much do we or should we protect our kids from this. Somewhere in the Bible we are called to be "in this world, not of this world". This is a balance that only a daily faith walk and conversation with God will allow us to ensure correct perspective. This seems resonable for us, but is a harder call to arms when it comes to our kids. Are we brave enough? Do we trust God enough? Should we be more guarding and protecting? Should we let go more, and truly trust our child rearing up to this point, and our child counseling as we move along? Tough questions as a parent or person.

These are a few of the fun things in life that make life exciting or scary dependent upon the day. I am excited today, 'cause I am going to spend a good portion of my day with my youngest. I owe him a Dad day. Just the two of us. This will be very special. But, I gotta check my smart phone and do a little work first.