Checking Yourself

Do we recognize our proper position in relationships? In every relationship: husband to wife; parent to child; employee to employer; friend to friend; citizen to citizen; child of God to God himself, do we examine ourselves? And at what frequency? And do we embrace it, succomb to it, or battle against it?

Frankly, this can make or break any relationship. There are two sides to this coin. Both behaving and relating appropriately. Are we doing are part, or critically examining the other?

I'll Take the Rest

I am a worker and a doer. I've shared with colleagues and others that I've got a propensity to, when a project or opportunity gets large and needs heavy attention, take the dammit, just work harder and work more default approach. That's just how I am—how God made me. I have a deep appreciation for strategic thinking and planning, and believe I am pretty good at it. But when the stove begins to heat up, my first response is to my default.

Yesterday, Crawford Loritts, our Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, GA, painted a wonderful picture of Christ's supremacy over all things. He (Loritts) particularly referenced one of Jesus' miracles He (Jesus) performed while crossing the Sea of Galilee. In a nutshell, Jesus and his highly-trained fishermen disciples are on a boat ride and the wind kicks up pretty bad. Thunder, lighting, waves, etc. These highly-trained fishermen are freaking out and Jesus is sleeping in the back of the boat. The guys wake him up and want him to fix this. Jesus stands up and, as commander of creation, exclaims "Peace! Be still!" to which His creation complies.

Well I realize I, as His creation, have not be complying. I took some rest this Sabbath. It feels good. At this moment, I am amid a large project, and will continue to work and do, however I need to make sure to steal some time for rest and meditation along the way.

Silencing Sponge Bob

I love the ability of a parent to tune out the day-to-day household din. Perhaps particularly a dad, 'cause guys seem to have an innate ability to do so. There have been instances where the kids may have been out of the house for 2o minutes and my wife and I will suddenly look at each other and realize that the TV has been blaring the likes of iCarly, Sponge Bob, or one of the Jonas brothers. (On a side note, the new Jonas Brothers show is very much like the Monkees of old, and I actually enjoy the nostalgia of it.)

Today I have no noise from Nickelodeon. My wife and the boys have snuck out of town for a few days. This provides me, not only time to crank out a ton of work, but to have some rare time to myself. So last night I enjoyed a few fine ales and fine conversation with a good friend and a new acquaintance. A conversation topic was this clutter of technology and constant entertainment—the "Sponge Bob Effect"—and its affect on our kids. Not that technology, etc. is altogether bad—frankly, it can be a great thing. But I know there is a need for parents to carve out time for themselves and time with the kids (or time for the kids themselves)—away from the iPods, workloads, Nickelodeon, etc. I am glad my wife has carved some out.

I have started a new book. Shaped By God by Max Lucado. Having read the first bit seems like its gonna speak wonders and provide me a lot of "I wonders". Last week I finished Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Miller's book has, and from the looks of it, Lucado's will really challenge me and my life. A Million Miles looks at the "story" of one's life. Asking if we are living a challenging, exciting, wonderful, scary, motivating, etc. life-story. Shaped, I believe, will be taking those deep life-story questions even deeper.


When I was within Lucado's book, my wife texted a black and white picture of the boys standing in the sand, arms around each other, and smiling at me. I gotta tell you this really moved me. Amid my meditation on my life, my life story, and the growth thereof, I am sent an image of two of the critical characters in that story.

Along with, and alongside my wife, I've got to silence Sponge Bob and bring myself, my family and my story to a greater and greater place. To get there, these are some important factors I must continuously nourish:

• My wife and our relationship
• A close and honoring conversation with God
• The wisdom, relationship and support of friends and the body of Christ
• Consistent time in the Word
• Open ears
• A gracious heart
• A gracious tongue
• A servant heart
  
• Availability

My prayer is that I remember these things daily and don't get caught up in my own life clamor.

When I was Your Age...

Refound a radio station yesterday. They have reformatted an old smooth jazz station (yes, I do like me some smooth jazz), to a 70s, 80s R&B station. Very good.

It is amazing how much of the great music from those decades has influenced today's young artists. And how much they've butchered some of the hip hop genre turning it into overproduced hip "pop". As an occasional curmudgeon, it gave me a nice "kids these days" moment. But man, how good is some of that older stuff.

Hiding the Hoard

I am sure a lot of you have seen the A&E show Hoarders. This show is pretty fascinating. My wife and I were watching last night, and they shared the story of an Atlanta-based Hoarder (let's call her Ingrid). It was so intriguing. There was a portion of the show where they showed Ingrid piddling around outside her home, which had a few items scattered about. But when she lifted her garage door, there was, from floor to ceiling, tons of just stuff. Ingrid is starting to get concerned that the neighbors may call the authorities and she could lose her home. When the camera's brought us inside her home, it was an absolutely piled upon piled mess. Her water was off so her bathroom was now storage. The corner of Ingrid's bed, where she only has room to sit and sleep had about 5 strands of fly paper hanging above it. Her hoard was becoming too big to hide, and Ingrid is dramatically affected by it.

Another story: I had the privilege a few years ago to take a trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for a pseudo retreat with a group of about 12 guys. A couple of guys organize these retreats to bring men together, away from their work, their responsibilities and family, and allow them a break, some recreation, beer and food, and fun —all the while engaging in deep conversation and spirit-lead relationship.

One of the things the organizers like to do is, when pairing bunkmates for this trip, is to match up some interesting duos. Well mine (let's call him Ralph) was a traditional, pretty straight laced, multi-vitamin pack per meal eating, athlete. A big fit guy. Well, if you know me, I'm not.

When we went to our rooms, Ralph introduced himself to me sharing his wife and kids rundown and that he does something athletics-driven for a vocation. I said "Hello, I am Rick. I have a wife and two boys. And I am gonna be the one who drinks too much, swears to much, and may make a fool of myself". To which he replied "I hide all my sin on the inside" I LOVE Ralph for that. For a guy who "hides his sin on the inside" that is pretty freaking transparent. Ralph and I got along really well, and had an amazing time.

Ralph essentially admitted to me that he was a Hoarder. Not the stuff kind, but the inner-stuff kind. The sin we don't want anyone to see or know about. We all hoard stuff. Its just what do we do with it. Do we:

• Deny it
• Over expose it
• Bury it
• Fight with it
• Strategically confess and repent
• Truly confess and repent
  

Regardless, it has to be dealt with. God requires us to be nimble and available to serve—which we cannot do if we keep all this stuff hoarded up. Through Christ's death on the cross, he has provided the change agent through which to rid ourselves as well as manage all the stuff. Its just up to us to accept it. And He asks us to accept it daily. Moment by moment.

If we don't, we most likely will end up like Ingrid. Becoming overwhelmed and unable to manage the hoard alone. Concerned the neighbors may discover the secret.

Mornings, Healthcare & My 90

It is always an interesting school morning in my house. You never know what side of the bed any one of us is going to get out of. And, let's just say there are some usual suspects. Does wrong side of bed grouch beget another grouch? And what happens to the right side of the bed? Does the right side metamorphose into a wrong sider as well?

This reminded of some words from Chuck Swindoll regarding our attitude:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.



Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.



The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.



And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."

I absolutely love this—the 90% thing. It really gives us quite a bit of control within any situation—even those out or our control.

Recently, there has been a lot of blubbering about Health Care Reform. I can see two sides to this story. The ways and means to essentially "care" for the people in our country are pretty broad. As of today, the Federal Government has taken over quite a bit of the "care" of our citizens. There are a lot of people, and even states which are pissed off about this.

I wonder about one thing. And believe another.

I wonder what the attitude will be with this recent shift. What will be done with their/our/my 90%. Certainly there will be yelling. Certainly there will be stumping. Certainly there will be joy. Certainly there will be cynicism. Certainly there will be sighs of relief. There most likely will even be lawsuits. And yes, there will be voting.

I believe that this Reform was unnecessary, and should not have even been part of the story. I believe that we as individuals, and moreover the "church" itself have not been doing a lot with our/their 90% in the first place. We have failed to fully care for, contribute to, and help heal our fellow folks? I believe this is our individual role, and the role of faith-based institutions (those which espouse to do such things at least). Certainly there are those which do this well, but I am speaking broadly.

Healthcare is timely debate right now, but what about everyday and always. What is the attitude we take for each day? Do we choose to take control of all situations and use 90%? And are we considering that our 90% can have both positive or negative impact.

Doing It Again

What keeps us going back to the well. What are the drivers to continuously move forward—continuously improve, at work, in relationships, in competitions, with personal concerns, with cultural concerns, during crisis. The list is long:

• Responsibility
• Recognition
• Money
• Servitude
• Habit
• Faith
• Family
• Sense of Ownership
• Reputation
  
• Sport
  
• Competition
• Victory
• Reward
• Security
• and More

Sometimes it's one or more drivers. Sometimes we can be motivated by one thing, and wish it were another.

Gimme Shelter (or Not)

I've always loved how a movie can move you. Particularly when you enter the theater when the sun is shining and, after being taken on a cinematic roller coaster ride, you exit into the dusk or dark. It always is a surreal "what planet am I on" experience....at least for me.

Yesterday the family went to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Not exactly a cinematic roller coaster, but for some reason, it moved me. Not off the planet, but just into some deep thought. I suppose it is because the movie chronicles a young boy's move to middle school, and I have one boy, my first born (#1), on the cusp of middle school himself.

Wimpy Kid had the proverbial bully (a girl in this case), peer pressure, and the overall need for self-definition and peer acceptance. I believe the boys were sort of affected by the actualization of a forthcoming move to the middle school experience. I know I was.

As a parents, we try so hard to protect our children from things, or moreover, try to support them through times of change and trial. I believe my wife and I do a good job of allowing our boys to face life circumstances like schoolwork, bruised knees and bruised egos, without over-protection, but moreover, loving support and open ears and arms—within this, the proper course correction. I believe this is best. This is where freedom and trust mature within our parent/child relationship.

For those of us (probably all reading) who've been through some bruising, we understand that this is where the growth comes, and the character is formed. Growth in our knowledge of life's hardships (some greater than others), growth in our relationship with others, and growth in the realization of what we can overcome. Also, these times are incredibly developmental in growing a relationship with God.

As a parent, we warn our children of things, and coach our children through things. I believe God does this immensely well through the Word, friends, spouses, mentors, and prayer. I know that I have been warned and coached by God. But I know the times which have meant the most to me were when I experienced the bruising. These are the times were trust and faith truly come into play. These are times where God will say I know things are tough out there, but I am still here and with you. And I know this hurts. Frankly, it hurts me too. You just have to go through this right now. I can tell you more about why, later.

Honestly, I am on the fence about #1's move to middle school. I know it'll be great for him. I also know there will be times where I'd like to just take away any discomfort, peer pressure, or hurt. I suppose this will be as much about me and my continued growth as a parent, man, husband, and child of God as it will #1.

Change Agents

As I've been thinking about change, something hit me this morning. When we change it can be for better or for worse. Change typically involves behaving one way, and changing to another. Or being something and changing to something else.

Culturally, we except certain changes. Flabby to Fit. Uneducated to Educated. Unkind to Kind. Bread to Toast. But of deeper or provocative things, who determines what is an appropriate or "good" change. Or what is an unwise or a "bad" change. Typically it is one or a combination from this list: ourselves; our culture, our peers; our counselors; our family; our God.

But in our heart of hearts, during those 3 am self-analysis thought sessions, or those over a glass of wine connections with a spouse or friend, we discover who truly determines why we change. This is where we examine our own "List". And look at the authenticity and authority we place on our own "Listees".

I am fortunate enough to be married to a very wise wife. I can be a seat-of-the-pants decision guy. This is just the way I am wired ("I'm all for it!" or "Okay I think I'd like to do that—lets")... and I can just talk a lot. My wife knows me, and patiently allows for my wiring to play out and run its course. Typically she will let me be me, then, fortunately for me and with great timing, will provide a sense of caution, a watch out, or a have you considered. Don't get me wrong, she is a blast—not some fuddy-duddy. She just has a keen sense for others, how they feel, and is a big fan of the underdog. She is a great help and partner. And I love her dearly.

There is also the authority of the Bible which will, through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, let us know what truly is good change or bad change. I have been reading Proverbs and there is a lot of the wise and foolish thing—the righteous or unrighteous. Amid some imagery, it is pretty darn clear as to what God deems good and bad. In the first chapter is states "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

I am easily influenced. I need to fear the Lord. And I need to consistently communicate my wife.

Inherent Responsibilities

In Donald Miller's A Million Miles in A Thousand Years, a recommended read, Miller makes the declaration that "...one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgment".

I had to write this down. I thought this was beautiful. I/we (I am gonna say "we" 'cause I am not alone) can get so caught up in the day-to-day doldrums. We are concerned about the immediate moment. We are concerned about resolution within our households. We are concerned with our careers. Not to mention, what people can think of us. We can either miss or ignore the "brilliance of life".

I don't think this is some hippie/zen thing. This is a thrilling acknowledgment of our position. The inherent responsibility lies within our role with our fellow man, our family, our work, our world, and mostly our place in God's plan. We have to pay attention.

This excites me, because it truly gives me perspective that there is a bigger picture outside of the right here and now. It also excites me because the here and now play an important role in the bigger picture. Today, I am digging this inherent responsibility. Tomorrow it may be overlooked, or feel like drudgery. That is why we need to frequently, even ceaselessly, steal time to recognize our God and Creator, His love for us and others, and how we believe He'd have us spend our brilliant moments.

Present to Past

The other day I was commenting about how we have the Joneses in our lives and how our life, attitude, or spirit changes are accepted by the Joneses [Allowing Change, March 16]. This got me thinking. What is the pace of allowing, or accepting change. How soon does our Present become our Past.

We are told we are a forgiving nation (witness Clinton/Lewinski). A professional athlete is one post-season victory or Masters appearance from redemption. The Jonses (with some exceptions) most likely are more fickle with their neighbors. Thank God for God. He seems to have figured this whole repentance and forgiveness thing out.

A President requires a little time and popularity. An athlete, some peak performance. A neighbor typically requires a good bit of time, and the lingering effect could permeate the "hood" indefinitely. But God took care of this before we were even born (at least those reading this). The forgiveness is ours for the asking. The acceptance is already in place.

My/our problems stem from where we place the significance of the acceptance. Too often it is on the Jones family and the general public—the jury of our peers.

Deep End Perspective

As a Dad, there are fewer things more wonderful than a day with one of your kids. I got to spend Saturday with my second born son. Of the two, he is not my default. Those of you with two kids probably can attest that there is one kid or the other whom you take on the responsibility of, or "cover". Well mine is my first born. So, when it is just #2 and me, it's pretty cool. He reminds me a lot of me. Pretty sensitive, creative, funny, and has a servant's heart.

The day started with a drive to Dave & Buster's arcade (or whatever gaming and experience thing they are called today). The interesting thing about a ride with #2 vs. #1 is that the radio does not have to come on. We don't have to listen to the latest driveled pop hip hop. While some is good, and I am a big Rhianna fan, the majority is over-produced noise with glutenous lyrics. But enough about my old man musical critique. So the ride with #2 is quiet. There is the opportunity for conversation. I try to dig in to some serious talk, opening the door for conversation about school, sex, friendship, my role as a Dad, etc., thinking "ah yes...these are the moments when you can open yourself up to your son, and he to you". But not necessarily #2.

Here is where the thing (one of them at least) that I love about #2 comes out. Out of the blue he says "When does the Westchester pool (our community pool) open?".

"Not for another couple of months, dude. I think around Memorial Day."

"You know why I like the pool, Dad? I love to go in the deep end, down into a little corner, and look up and see the people swimming above me."

That is what I dig so much about this guy. He sees life through such a unique lens. He used to say that he saw people in colors. "Dad, I think you're dark blue.".

Further along, we are eating at McDonalds (his choice), and I am asking him about how his Hip Hop class and Gymnastics class are going. He says "good" (the coined response from all kids). Then he says, "Dad, I don't want to join the gymnastics team. I don't like the competition. I just want to take the class. I just like to tumble and jump". Now I can't recall if the male in me thought this or said this with furrowed brow and all, "Now son, you know that competition is good and it allows a stage for you to prove and improve your skills". I think I just thought it.

So here's this guy. Sitting in a deep end looking up at the people above. Seeing people in colors. Not wanting to compete in gymnastics (at which he is VERY good), but just wants to spin around, tumble, climb and jump. He's no flake, though. When he puts his mind to something, he is very diligent to see it through. He does well at school. Is a good son. And a great person.

I am envious. I wish I could see through his lens. Unfortunately life throws a lot at you to cause you to overwork, overthink, overdo. One could say this perspective could be the naivety of a child who has the protection of a loving father and family, but I believe there's more to it.

Someone coined the phrase "take time to smell the roses" that's sweet and all, but I'd like to encourage myself and others to certainly smell flowers, but also to see people in color, and spin and jump. I know, kind of hippie, but....

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

Allowing Change

Interesting how much we change. Throughout this whole blogging thing, I have been quite introspective. I have taken many looks within, without, forward and backward. The look back sometimes has been scary. Sometimes fun. Sometimes surreal. But mostly challenging.

I recall when my wife and I got married we were at a different time of our lives—a way different time. We'd met in our, well my, late twenties. We were whooping it up quite a bit—sans kids, sans house, sans a bunch. Then one afternoon, we had a unique conversation about who and what we are, what we believe, and what we hope to be. This changed our relationship. Things were brought into a different light. Surely there continued to be some whooping, but the end game had changed.

When we were about to tie the knot, I had a chance to write a letter to the Pastor who was to marry us. I wanted to bring him inside our relationship. The history. The intimacy. The mistakes. The confidence in the future. I recall sharing with said Pastor that there would be some folks in the "audience" of our ceremony who'd shared some of our more whoopier times. My wife and I made a stand that day as to Who holds our future. We knew that there would be those who would say "I know them", "I know what they are really like", "Surely they won't change".

Even today, as individuals, we grow and we change (which we should). We make life decisions. We do our darndest to take a better path. The question is will others allow it. In our keeping up with the Joneses, we establish such an exterior. Our house is painted a certain color. Shutters just so. The yard trimmed to the best of our abilities. We may even have close relationships which are forgiving of some weeds in our lawn. But, how much change do we allow others to make. And how much will the Joneses allow.

It is easy for us to keep folks where we know them to be. I am guilty of keeping other people in my own perception of them. Right or wrong. Even as a husband and parent, I don't find it easy to allow for change within my own house.

We find it safe without things or people changing. We like to keep things where we know them to be. It is easier. During Barack Obama's run for the Presidency, he trumpeted "Have the courage to change". Certainly we should keep an eye and heart toward spiritual, intellectual, and physical growth and improvement. I'd also like to trumpet "have the courage to allow others to change."

Building Material

Last Thursday I had the opportunity to hear Arthur Blank, of Home Depot and the Atlanta Falcons speak at the American Marketing Association AMY Awards. Blank was interviewed by Bob Hope, not THE Bob Hope, but just thought it was funny and wanted to mention it.

When asked to share a success secret, Blank stated that "you build a business around the customers you serve". I am fortunate enough to have professional life experience which manifests the success of that statement. Where I work, we have built a large part of our business, sustaining it through tough economic times, using this Blank-like belief. A dedication to unselfish service, complete transparency, effort and value add, have establish us in the eyes and mind of our client (and others) as a valued partner. Of course no success is given without the privileged blessing from our Father above.

Okay, really nothing new here. Hard honest work pays off. The Truth of God honored principals actually work. And God is good.

But what about outside of the office? What do we build our personal relationships upon. I have always believed that business relationships and personal relationships require the same sort of fundamental components: unselfish service; complete transparency; effort and value add; and the privilege of God's blessings.

Sometimes we can fire on all cylinders at the office, where there is a vision statement, processes, roles and responsibilities, but when it comes to non-work, we can stumble. May I bring that servitude, attitude, trust, creativity and energy to those the really matter—my wife, my kids, my family, my sphere of influence—and mostly, may I earnestly seek the Lord and his favor. I have just started reading Proverbs. I am quite sure that these business practices and relationship principles were written many many years ago, in the Lord's how to guide—with a few other pointers thrown in.

Now if the Faux Hope were sitting in a chair, interviewing the Lord....that'd be pretty interesting. "Let me ask you, God and Creator, Alpha and Omega, The Great I Am....why the orange logo?"

Smart Phones and Dancers

Last night I had the privilege to sit through three and a half hours of elementary school talent show. You may think that "privilege" is sarcastic. It is a bit, but honestly there was a lot running through my head. The truest privilege was that I had my two sons with me, and I could sit with them. While the majority of the talent didn't really hold my attention, there were a few great acts.

There were two waves of performance (acts I suppose). The first wave was the K-3 graders, the second 4-5.

Act I

We sat near the back during the first wave—which included violinists, pianists (always a funny word to say), singers and dancers, etc., there were a couple things running through my head:

1. My oldest boy looked at me like I was crazy when I put my arm on his shoulder.
2. I was determined not to look at my smart phone.

I suppose the crazed look from my 11 year old was part of that threshold crossing of "I love you dad—we've always had a wonderful relationship—I truly appreciate your touch and expressions of love— but I am getting bigger and, I am at school amongst my peers, and am too cool to have my dad touch me in front of anyone".

Now to be clear, when I am speaking about touching my son, I understand in this day and age that can cause an eyebrow to be raised, but what I am talking about here is simply a hand hold, an arm around the shoulder, a rub of the back. I am and have been a toucher in my expression. No need to call Defax.

Back to the story at hand... I recognized this as a turning point. One which I've seen over the last year, but it hit this Dad in full force. My son is pushing away a bit. He is becoming more and more his own person. He will have failures and successes which are all his to own. I just pray that my wife and I have laid a firm foundation. And that he knows we are always here and always will love him.

The smart phone thing—or point #2. First of all, I have an iPhone, but really want to use the term Smart Phone. I think this sounds cooler. While Apple is the epitome of cool, I think I can sort of surpass that in the non use of iWords. So I am sitting there with my boys, next to my youngest (whom I can still put my arm around and "touch") and the reality of the age and talent level of Act I is causing my mind to wander a bit and I struggle not to pick up the smart phone and check on email, who has tweeted, or whatever else. I recall reading or hearing somewhere that these sorts of situations can sear into a child's memory. When they glance up from the soccer field, performance stage, or simply a time together and see dad checking in on his smart phone they may think "gosh, how interested is he really in my life and what I am doing/being." I have had a good friend who recently checked me on the whole prioritization of life/work balance. So I didn't look at my smart phone during this Act.

Act II
At this point, my eldest had ditched us for his buddies and my youngest and I moved to the front row, stage right. Act II clearly had the stronger talent, and was opened up by a saxaphone rendition of God Bless the USA, you know—"I am proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free"— a much appreciated number down here in the southland. The MC of this wave was one of the 2nd grade teachers. A guy. A pretty quirky funny guy who has an affinity for things from the 70s and 80s. I sat there watching this guy and was very thankful that there was a man who was cool, and was influencing (positively I assume, and have heard from others 'cause my kids have never had him) these young men. Also, as he watched the saxaphone you could see a gleam in his eye of appreciation for this young man standing in front of the stage with his crisp white shirt, black pants and tooting away on his instrument. We need more guys like this teacher in our schools. We are fortunate to have him.

Now the talent at this level was heightened. This brought another thought to my head as I watched a 5th grader (looking like an 18 year old) perform a solo dance routine to some hip hop tune which escapes me, or too current for me to have grabbed hold of when I tuned it out on our car radio. This girl could dance. She was good. She was freakin' in 5th grade. Head and shoulders above the rest. She was as old as my first born. Got me thinking about who and what influences our kids. Now I hope I don't sound like a ninny, but I was a bit shocked at some of the music that these kids were singing, lip syncing, dancing to, or performing in one degree or another. Lady Ga Ga and others providing lyrics of dirty love, sex and pomposity through the lips of children.

I think two things:

1. That we/I look back at ourselves at that age. Myself, thought Kiss was the coolest band around. They had lyrics about a guy who saw a 16 year old coming out of school one day and Gene Simmons recites "I've got to have you. I've got to have you." How innocent was I then? How influenced? Did it affect me? Does it still affect me? Perhaps, or perhaps not. I am not too sure. Sometimes I think it did/does. Sometimes perhaps not.
2. How much do we or should we protect our kids from this. Somewhere in the Bible we are called to be "in this world, not of this world". This is a balance that only a daily faith walk and conversation with God will allow us to ensure correct perspective. This seems resonable for us, but is a harder call to arms when it comes to our kids. Are we brave enough? Do we trust God enough? Should we be more guarding and protecting? Should we let go more, and truly trust our child rearing up to this point, and our child counseling as we move along? Tough questions as a parent or person.

These are a few of the fun things in life that make life exciting or scary dependent upon the day. I am excited today, 'cause I am going to spend a good portion of my day with my youngest. I owe him a Dad day. Just the two of us. This will be very special. But, I gotta check my smart phone and do a little work first.

Mass Accountability

I have been blogging for a bit now. Initially, this was an attempt for me to simply write some stuff down, which has been enjoyable and challenging for myself. Whether or not I am well suited for any sort of writing...well lets just say the jury is still way out. My intention is just to put out there some of my story.

I have found that even while writing for myself, I have achieved some sort of degree of virtual accountability. The stuff I am writing down—is it matching up with my life? Honestly, this has been a bit of a challenge. It is easy to say things, think things, and even do things which can vanish in time. Things which may not be "acceptable" or "appropriate", or downright wrong. However, when you're able to look back and read it, it seems there is more at stake.

That said, I am going to heighten my level of accountability for what I "say" here in this digital platform.

I was speaking with some friends this morning, and shared that I was going to invite my "friends" (that of the facebook variety) in. Don't know if this is a good or bad idea of mine. Some of my "friends" I know from a different time. I was different. They were different. Will they accept me? What will they think of me? Gosh, sounds like high school all over again.

Amazing how, even at 42, one can still consider this whole acceptance thing. Perhaps not as much as when I/we were younger, but still have it affect our decision making none the less. Too bad.

So, feel free to read on, un"friend" me, "hide" me, or ignore me, but these are my thoughts, and this is my story.

Calamitous Shortcomings

I don't know if it encourages me to read the story of David and Bathsheba or not, but it got me thinking of the many people in the Bible which are displeasing to God. What borderline encourages me, is when these displeasing folks oftentimes become men and women of exemplary faith. Some even are the bloodline of Christ, or foundational rocks of the church.

I read the account of David and Bathsheba this morning. In a nutshell, David is hot for Bathsheba, has sex with her, she gets pregnant, then has her husband killed in a war so he won't know she's knocked up. The NIV ends 2 Sam: 11 with "But the thing David had done displeased the Lord". I don't wanna displease the Lord. Doesn't sound like a smart thing to do. Yet we are well aware that David went on to bigger and better things—the bloodline to the Christ.

So my borderline encouragement was tracking. I see that God uses imperfect people to do amazing things to advance His kingdom. I know that I have many shortcomings, and I do believe I am a "good" Christian. I believe that in spite of myself, God can use me. Here is were the borderline encouragement ends and turns into a bit of fear.

2 Sam: 12 reads of Nathan coming to visit David (this is post David's "shortcoming"). Nathan tells David a story of a guy who loves and takes care of his lamb and another guy comes and kills it for dinner. This pisses David off. He thinks this story isn't nice. He doesn't think it's nice for some guy to kill and eat someone's lamb. Then Nathan tells David that he wasn't nice either. Then Nathan tells him that the Lord says—"Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you." That doesn't sound good. I wouldn't want the Lord bringing calamity on my house. Then David's kid he has with Bathsheba dies.

So what about me. I think shortcomings are great. I believe they can pay witness to a sinful nature in need of redemption. I believe they can create a connection with people—serving as wonderful transparencies to pull people into communication. I am a shortcomer. But the "displeasing the Lord" and "calamity" thing is not good. I suppose this has to do with the "fear of the Lord" thing and frankly, it frightens me.

My friend Clark has said on more than one occasion (don't know if this is his or taken) "I like a man with a limp". A limp means we've been hurt, or wounded. A limp means that although we've been hurt or wounded, we are again walking. God uses those who displease Him. Their may be "calamities" or "limps" as a result of God's displeasure or as a direct affect of our sin. This leads me to not be encouraged by my shortcomings, for this displeases the Lord. But to keep my mind on the prize. Repent of shortcomings. And rejoice in my limp.

May God keep my eyes on the prize and not those things which displease Him.

Out of the Closet

Officially official. I have now tweeted about the (my) blog. The thousands...well the few...folks following me on Twitter are now aware, and will now be able to read every random thought or pseudo insight I put up here at their leisure. I am quite sure they'll be lining up and on the edge of their seats to read....

Legislating Compassion

I just finished reading Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What. Quite a thought provoking book. And quite a perspective changer/confirmer for me. He paints a picture of Jesus and the Christian as truly in a relationship and love-based deal. He also writes of our Life Boat mentality and how, here on earth, we live our lives posturing for position aboard this Life Boat, searching for status, acceptance and redemption. Whereas Jesus and the Godhead live outside the boat, and in their omnipresent glory have quite a different perspective that us on the Boat. So it's a good book.

Where Miller really drove some thought provoking stuff home to me specifically is towards the end in his chapter entitled Morality. Here he steps pretty hard against the right wing conservatives (RWC), and broadly, the traditional church (TC). It really got me thinking of a few things. How the RWC and TC can appear so loud and unloving as they speak to things like morality. How skewed I am in my own perspective of the not moral. What is my delivery like when speaking about things. Is it an "I am right, they are wrong" perspective, or is it an "I love you".

Ideologically speaking, I don't believe you can legislate compassion—that is for the true church. Relationally and personally speaking, I wonder. Do I deliver a message of love and redemption? And do I do battle with the prisoners and not the enemy? I don't want to be a clanging cymbal.

By the way. His chapter entitled Jesus is freakin' great...

God Bless My Wife

So I awoke in the JW Marriott in Phoenix and am tired, unshowered and in my glory as a 42 year old man who has perhaps 10-15 extra pounds from the looks of myself in the mirror. I no longer am the guy who used to work out on a frequent basis and watches what he eats (gosh I gotta start). Not that I am over-sized, but lets just say time is giving me a bit of the once over. God bless my wife. She's stuck with me.

Admittedly Imperfect

That I am. Darn it.

Unsavory Characters

As a disclaimer, I am not too sure of the protocol to quote someone from a book. Let alone quoting someone from a book quoting someone from a book, but here goes...

I have been reading and thoroughly enjoying Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What. A great read, and as is typical to Miller, humorous, thought provoking and candid. Within this chapter, he is examining Jesus. Not in the global Savior sense, but a grass roots sense. Miller is looking at Jesus as how he was with people. How he loved them. How he treated them. He references a passage in a book from Phillip Yancey (here goes the quoting a book quoting a book thing). Yancey writes in his book The Jesus I Never New (and I try to correctly quote):

"The more unsavory the characters, the more at ease they seemed to feel around Jesus. People like theses found Jesus appealing: a Samaritan social outcast, a Military officer of the tyrant Herod, a quisling tax collector...In contrast, Jesus got a chilly response from the more respectable types. Pious Pharisees, a rich young ruler walks away shaking his head, Nicodemus sought a meeting under the cover of darkness.

I [Yancey] remarked to a class how strange this pattern seemed, since the Christian church now attracts respectable types who closely resemble the people most suspicious of Jesus on earth. What has happened to reverse the pattern of Jesus' day? Why don't sinners like being around us?"

Wow. Heavy stuff. I look at myself and see a heart for those "unsavory characters", but wonder if I am as excepting as I ought to be. I know that I fall short on my love and acceptance of the "unsavory" at times. Sometimes I believe I don't. I do however see the visual image of the church parishioner—at least in my general zip code, and consider Yancey's remarks valid. I don't want to pass judgment my local churchgoers, but I get his point. I'd read another Yancey book entitled What's So Amazing About Grace, which drove this point as well. In Grace, he writes of a former prostitute who states something like "Why would I go to church? Those people won't except me".

Let me—let us all—see through the lens of Jesus. It's a shame we can be nonattracting to those whom Jesus found most attractive.

Heavily Hopped Faith

As a big fan of India Pale Ales, I was considering the origin of the name. To my knowledge (which sometimes is grossly inaccurate), as the British were settling African colonies, they would ship their beloved ales from the homeland to these colonies—a very lengthy pre-travelocity excursion. These ales would have loads of hops incorporated into the brewing, and this multitude of hops would serve as preservative, and therefore, the beer would make the trip in fine bloody shape. And in so doing, the India Pale Ale is a very hoppy sort. And quite tasty too.

Consider the "hopping" of our faith. How ingrained are we into the fabric of the Word. How consistent is our prayer life. Do we simply add extra "hops" when we are about to embark on a long spiritual journey, or doing battle with the rigors of life travels and traumas? Or are these ingredients of our day to day faith?

Roadside Perspective

So we spent yesterday morning with our Tax Guy going through 2009. First let me say, as a guy who was in the remedial math courses in college—and getting Ds mind you—it is great to have a wife who has taken the bull by the horns when it comes to this area. Anyway, last year was a learning experience. Owing thousands of dollars to Uncle Sam was no fun. But yesterday morning, on account of my wife's due diligence, we were pleased to see a bit of a refund....Phew...

Happy smiles and some relief were traveling with us in the Xterra on our way back to our place in the burbs. As we were traveling along at a sinful speed on the highway, I heard a little noise in the left rear. As a guy who might tend to ignore this sort of thing and chalk it up to a twig, it wasn't until we'd slowed down to exit that the noise became more pronounced. The "twig" had turned into what sounded like a break rotor, or metal on metal....

We pulled over after exiting. There is this piece of weatherstripping which has on occasion been knocked out of position on the left rear door. I was happy to see this was the case today. A quick repositioning and we were good to go.

So, this begs. What would my perspective have been if this was a high ticket repair.

1. Gosh, just when you think you can catch some sort of financial break, something goes wrong and drops a bomb on it.
2. Thank God, that He's provided this little tax return which can help us pay for said bomb drop.

I pray that I'd choose "2".

Following a Blog

That's right. I am following myself.

Why I Am

There's a great new song by the Dave Matthews band (well, its been out for about a year, but in the grand scheme, its kind of new), called "Why I Am". Its a good song. A bit more conventionally upbeat for some of Dave's stuff and has a nice positive sound. I am not really sure as to why Dave is (I think its something about a Gru Grux King), but it got me thinking. How often have we asked ourselves, or considered the proverbial pre-saved question of "Why am I here". Typically this is the self introspection which can lead to a relationship with the Lord. A more interesting question is "Why I am". Not really a question at all, I guess. This is a statement. Certainly one from someone who has come to a conclusion.

As I consider why I am, it was evident yesterday. Yesterday was a tough one. The work load is heavy. Very heavy. And I am putting some long days in. Anyway, yesterday some of my past self-questioning as to where I am valid, what do others think of me, etc. came to roost. My pal Clark had once shared with me that sometimes there are things in the past which have rightfully left your "nest" may every now and again come back to roost. We need to (with God's help) recognize these, and recognize why we are—or Why I Am. It is important to have "Clark's" in your life. People who we have transparent relationships with. People who know us. Really know us. People who can unintentionally remind us why we are.

Let me tell you why I am. I am here to glorify the living God, and His Son, Jesus, through the influence and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. If I can remember this (which I try to). If I can remember this often (which I often don't) . If I can remember this moment by moment (very cool when I do). Then the "why" will be forefront. And the ripple of the "why" will be allowed to more freely happen. And we'll see more of it. And be encouraged by it.

Am I a Blogger?

This is my third entry. I consider myself a "creative". My job is "creative". My thoughts are "creative". My spiritual walk is "creative" (or at least not process driven and über traditional—probably more to come on this in future entries I suppose.). People tell me I can talk a lot. Not mindlessly, mind you. Just a bunch. I like to talk. I like to converse. I like to dig deep into dialogue. Sometimes I like to write. I have always had a great respect for copywriters—their wit, targeted communication, and frankly, their lack of grammatical mistakes and typos. Honestly, I am gonna try to see if I can keep up this talking...err writing....err blogging. If I can, I may invite others to join in. Or read. This may require me to utilize Twitter, or Facebook, or some other social media outlet that my 42 years have been trying to get my arms around. I mean, Facebook is fun and all, (connecting with folks I haven't, or most likely wouldn't have kept in touch with) but is hard to fit in to the day. So, will I blog? Time will tell.

Long Time Sitting

I think I need to get a more ergonomic desk chair. Although, regardless of how effective our chairs are for our posture, we still find ways to slouch. Sort of like everything else of this world. We have great, wonderful moments, intentions and days. But the slouching begins. Sometimes when I am working alongside someone (a couple of friends in particular), I believe that we notice each others posture and it causes us to sit up straight—then the other will see the other sitting straight, and adjust/fix posture accordingly. I guess that's how the body of Christ works. We are "tracking well spiritually", (more air quotes, then written quotes) then we either get lazy or pious and the slouching begins. We either need someone to tell us to sit up straight, or we simply see them doing it, recognize our own slouch, and, adjust accordingly.

Waking Early

I woke up a little uneasy this morning—bright and early though. The darkness, either late or early always seems to allow for self contemplation—"Where am I?", "How am I?".... At least there is the Word to go to in this state. This morning, I opened to Proverbs. I don't normally read this book. Sort if reminds me of "Confucious says".... Then I remember, these are the timeless wisdoms from Above. Proverbs 14:4 "Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest". This makes me feel good. As a worker and server, this brings me home. Trusting that the Lord's grace is sufficient for me. I guess this is where He wants us...