Unassigned

A while ago I was having breakfast with a friend of mine. A good portion of our conversation circled around as he put it (to paraphrase) "so many people feel that we are given these cultural and social assignments that we must live into." And thats a shame.

Some of these "assignments" may be the Businessman who's reputation must be impeccable, to be seen as a beacon in society and keep him elevated above regular people. Or the Suburban Wife/Mom who's got to make sure her kids are seen as doing oh-so-well in school, and excelling at sports to one-up the Joneses. Or the the Urban Youth who feels he's got to wear the saggy pants, and carry a standoffish attitude to be accepted by his peers. Or the Coffeshop Hipster who's got to make sure he knows enough about craft cocktails and microfinancing in Africa to appear socially relevant.

So this has had me thinking about the role of the individual. Not really a role, but moreover our individual meaning here on earth. We let so many outside influencers tell us who and what we should be. When we are simply called to be ourself.

I believe God created us each uniquely. Put us on this planet as a unique human being. And that when we are so influenced by a perceived "assignment", we steer away from ourselves, and miss our mark. Moreover, our Maker's mark (not the bourbon). And that's a big miss.

In the The Brady Bunch Movie (or perhaps its sequel), Marsha gave her husband Wally a bit of encouragement. Wally was apologizing to the Brady family for lying about a job loss* in order to keep the family unaware. So Wally said he was sorry, to which Marsha replied, "Don't be sorry, just be Wally."

Yes, corny encouragement from Marsha, but dead on. Don't lie about YOU because you think others will think differently or poorly of you, or because you feel you've got to fulfill some "assignment".

I won't fulfill any "assignment". I will fulfill "me".




* I believe this was the reason for his apology. And if not, just go with it as it really works for what I'm trying to get across.

How Do You Do

We've all heard the quote about "it's not how many times you fall it's how many times you get back up that matters." A few folks have taken credit for that excellent advise, and I believe Vince Lombardi was the coolest name to attribute to it (perhaps he was first). And the quote makes sense, and I believe is right, and great inspiration to give the "fallen".

When we manage through, or overcome adversity we have such an opportunity to impact not only our state of affairs, but an opportunity to impact (positively or negatively) those who are watching. We are not perfect. We will say and do things we regret as we strive. But HOW we "get back up" can have just as much impact as "getting back up" itself. Perhaps in some cases more so.

We all know when we've seen people "get back up" in a manner that has impact. And we all can attach faces to those who've impacted us through their adversity. 

I've seen parents manage through a prodigals departure. I've seen a woman deal with a parent who's battling the effects of age. I've seen friends take a big hit. I've seen a man persevere through a time of unemployment. I've seen a couple walk through cancer. I've seen people simply do life well.

How do you do your "get back up"?

In Corinthians it says "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."

Life is hard. Adversity comes in many forms. A wayward child. An ailing parent. A financial blow. A lost job. An illness. A chaotic household. A car that's kaput. Etc. And of course it matters that you "get back up" from these things. But do it well.

I Walk the Line

I've got to call myself out. I consistently walk the line of cynic. And I walk the line of liking and not liking that I walk that line.

This morning on Good Morning America, they showcased a "challenge" that was to create awareness and generate funding to support ALS. Here's how it plays out. Someone challenges a social network "friend" to either make a donation to support ALS research, or post a video of them dumping a bucket of ice water over their heads. This challenge was started as an awareness campaign by a woman who's husband is battling ALS. A noble and meaningful effort. An effort which my son participated in last night. Not sure he's fully aware of what ALS is. Not sure I am.

So let me share my thoughts on the two aforementioned "lines" I mentioned that I walk.

The Line of the Cinic
I'm 47. While I believe I listen and have an ability to change my thinking about things via exposure, education, and understanding, I find myself pretty darn set in my ways. So this line is outwardly probably the worst. You see, I can dismiss an effort like this ALS challenge because of the seeming social media "celebration of me" or "social celebrity" of mere participation. This "social celebrity" plays out in many ways, but here's a few that seem to stick in my cynical craw.

• Sudden rich perspective about a current event (e.g. Robin Williams death)
• "Look at me" volunteerism or giving
• Oversaturation of ideology or theology to the point where your thoughts are ignored like a nuisance
• The "I don't live out but vehemently share opinion about things" expression
• And, like the ALS Challenge, shallow understanding about something I believe that I believe

So I may be a cynic. I may be ignorant. I may even be an asshole.

Liking the Line of the Cinic
I am muddled between the fact that I am pretty darn confident about my opinion(s), but want to make sure I am teachable still. I do know a good bit. I've got 47 years on this planet. But as I continue to learn more and more, I don't know what I do not know.

I read in a book somewhere "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." So forgive me and I will you. Perhaps not even in that order.

My dear friend, Stephen Kee says (and I may be misquoting, but you'll get my/his drift) "I will try to understand your intention while I may not understand your action".

I am calling myself out. Calling myself out to know more, to learn more, to know others more. To never be untrue to the facts, to myself, to others, to God (as if He wouldn't know). To look for intention first. Even when I don't want to.

A Father's Day Early

I know I'm a day early, but wanted to make sure I had a moment, and was "in the moment" when scribing my latest installment. A bit of an ode to my Dad.

I recently have had the privilege of caring for my Pop a bit. He's in his early 70s, and has had some health issues. Nothing like a lot of folks' parents have had. No cancer. He's got his mental capacities. But there's been weight loss, weakness, lack of energy, and the doctors to date haven't really been able to but their finger on what's been going on. All things considered, he's doing "fine" or "okay" as he likes to say.

So this gives me a chance for me to show my honor-thy-father in a newfound way as I support in more physical and mental fashions. Which is a pleasure. You see, our dads (well, most that I know) have been there for us. I mentioned in a Father's Day ode a few years back that my Dad was sort of a quiet supporter. A strong supporter for sure, but a quiet observer, and a quiet provider. And now I have the honor of distinction of supporting, observing, and providing for him in return.

My eldest is now 15 and while on the cusp of true employment is pretty much relegated to cutting lawns for a few bucks. And my parents have a lawn that grows. So this not only allows him to earn some cash, but gets me up to my folks' house more frequently. And I get to sort of live with them a little more now. You see, the proverbial time with my folks is on a special day (e.g. Father's Day), or when one of my kids has an event. But this is different. There's a bit of the old me who looks into their fridge and digs around a bit, but moreover, I get to hang with them. I'm truly enjoying this. This lets me see them smile more.

The other day my Dad had a doctors appointment, and in lieu of his recent weakness, my Mom had asked if I could accompany them in case they needed an extra hand or two. I was honored by the ask, and more than happy to participate. What made this all the more special was the fact that my eldest and I went to their place a night in advance and we got to spend the night. More smiles.

My dad has "his chair" and fortunately for me, there's a couch right next to it. This let's me sidle up alongside him for a Braves game and some dialogue. The dialogue around player performance, while still present, is lessening. And we talk more about how he's doing, getting up and down stairs in Maine, and such.

While this time has brought about a lot of questions and thoughts, (like what would it be like with this guy not around? How would I care for his wife?—perhaps a little morbid, but very real.) it is becoming a very special time. A time that I love.

It says in Proverbs (22:6) to "Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it".

Dad, you've done this. And is a joy to apply that training for your benefit.

A Kee Insight

It's been a long time since I rock and rolled. I mean since I've posted. And it's something I've thought I needed to get back to. Writing consistently in this space is a discipline that I regret not keeping up with as it helps me live life more purposed. In addition, my life passes and I've no record outside of my mind and my smart phone. So I hope to find the discipline to make the time to record my "Imperfectisms". That said, let me tell you a bit about a neighbor of mine...well, a friend of mine...hmm, a brother of mine and a project that he's just put out.

Stephen Kee has been a neighbor of mine for about 10 years give or take. Over the course of those years we've become "family". He and his wife have had impacted my wife and I (and our boys) in more ways than they know. Steve is a bit of a renaissance man. He's an entertainer, author, musician, speaker and more. An artist of all arts. I'd like to take a moment to tell you about his current endeavor. And in a bloggeddy blog way, promote it.

His inSIGHT project is a collection of Steve's writings and songs in which he's pulled family and friends in to provide vocal, instrument, production, and love support. It's an eclectic mix of spoken word and music influenced by gospel, R&B, reggae and more. These pieces of word and music cover various expressions as Kee views life from the perspective of his 57 unique years on the planet. And then shares his message from himself, as well as a varied cast of characters.

Now this may not be your style of art and music, but if you truly listened, I'd bet there's something within inSIGHT that would at the very least, make you pause and consider yourself—something which I believe Kee would hope for. And while you may not agree with Kee's message—I'm not sure if that'd matter to him either.

So I encourage you to visit iTunes and search under Stephen Kee to give a quick listen, and if so inclined, to download.

Hope to be back soon. And to steal Kee's sign-off, "Peace".

For Cluck's Sake

First, let me caveat this and say this is not a point of view on free speech. Nor does it really have anything to do with what Phil Robertson said or did not say in his GQ interview. And its not an op ed on the authenticity of Robertson's faith, or his family either. Moreover, its some thoughts around the public reaction.

To surmise a bit for posterity's sake, Phil Robertson is the patriarch of the Duck Dynasty clan—who one might say are, the "christian" version of the Kardashians. Duck Dynasty is a reality show about a family who invented a duck call, and they've since made fortunes in sales and merchandising. Its a really popular show on A&E. Oh, and they pray around the table, and talk about God.

So Phil has said some comments that some found insulting and cruel to the homosexual community, and A&E has suspended him from the show. Well, there's been a tremendous amount of backlash from the "liberal media", the "right wing conservatives", "the hollywood elite", the LGBT community leadership, Christian groups and sundry other "organizations". Piers Morgan nearly blew a gasket in discussion about the subject on his CNN show yesterday, and Shawn Hannity and various Fox News analysts have steamrolled guests and shouted over one another with their perspectives and beliefs.

But enough about that. This is about the "church" and "christian" community who are yelling loudly across Facebook and other social media. There are all sorts of "those hypocrites", "they", "them", "we", "our" culture warriors in full force lambasting and protesting.

I wonder what Jesus would have done with a Facebook account.

There is so much outrage, or better yet, table turning about this topic. Now I'm not the brightest bulb, nor the most intensive Biblical scholar, but I believe the only table turning Jesus did was when He turned them over in His Father's house when others turned it into a "den of thieves". Jesus turned tables when His Father's house was impacted. When outside His Father's house, he served, loved, protected, ate with, drank with, and told stories to people. He loved them so much.

I'm not sure Jesus would have taken to the airwaves to defend Himself or His Faith.

I don't understand the Christians response of such anger, and outrage, outside of His Father's house? Jesus didn't respond that way outside His Father's house (although He did have some direct conversation with the "religious" church leadership of the day—"Snakes! Sons of vipers! How will you escape the judgment of hell?"). Jesus also said that His Kingdom is not of this world. Yet we are so focused on making it so. Where are the relationally-motivated status updates? Where is the compassion to meet others where there is need? Where are the invitations to sup? To share the Gospel vs. tell it? Where is the acknowledgement of our own sins, vs. the index fingers aimed at others?

I'm sure there's lots to this story, and I know there's lots of passion around this issue, and there's probably some theological defense, but I'm just taken aback by the lack of grace and mercy. Its like we want—check that—need to win. We're right. You're wrong. And we will gloat when we win, too. 

I guess this is a call for Grace. Too non-existent these days.

I was talking with a guy who said that he and his family have a gay friend and they went bowling with him and some of his gay friends. I don't think Jesus would lambast homosexuality. I think He'd go bowling and tell some stories. And maybe buy the first round.

Mine or Thine

There's a lot of conversation in and around the Church and the churches these days. Political, Socio-economic, Sexuality, and more. In the dialogues I've been a part of, the discourse is both closed and open-eared. I read a book over the summer by Jonathan Merritt called "A Faith of Our Own" that I believe illustrates components of a misconception by a lot of church goers. In the book Merritt challenges that its not necessarily, "what would Jesus do?", but "what would Jesus have you to do?". I've come to a conclusion that a lot of professed Christians seem to believe that we are to build THIS kingdom for God, rather than building the Kingdom of God.

In Matthew 12:28, Jesus is asked by "one of the teachers of the law" which is the greatest commandment? And Jesus replies "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.", and the teacher agrees and says "you a right in saying that" (on a side note, do you think Jesus got an ironic chuckle when this "teacher" confirmed His statement?).

I think proclaimed Christians are too clouded with political slogan and agenda, and even a call for "revival" in the churches and in our nation. Now hear me right, I am not against a Spiritual resurgence if God so sees fit, but as I am hearing about and seeing the activity around political slogan and "revival", I am curious of something. Is the intention to build THIS kingdom for God? To make it a safe and peaceful place? To make it some sort of nirvana? To make it fit a political agenda? To make it "well" for the haves? And perhaps even the have-nots?

I must continue to challenge my own thinking along these lines as well. Around hoping for and moving to make better. And why I truly want "it" to be better.

The Bible clearly states that this will pass away. And that His Kingdom is not of this world.

Let your/ours/my works be of the noble Purpose(s) of God. Not for your/ours/my ownership, peace, power, safety, security, and agenda—from our own smallness.

Yes, love and serve. Give. Help. Encourage. Revolt. Stand. Change. Hope. Participate IN THIS world. But not FOR THIS world.