Happy Birthday, Susan

I once heard a story about a guy who was a pretty renowned speaker who used to travel around orating to large groups, speaking into many lives, making a great living. He was in high demand. He really loved what he did. Then one day, he found out that his wife had a pretty intense disease which had her bedridden and in need of his daily care and attention. He then gave up his career and stayed home tending to his wife. This speaker was once asked in an interview if he regrets giving up his career and having to stay home and care for his wife. He replied to the question, "HAVE to stay home?", "I GET to stay home!". He recognized that there is a wonderful commitment in marriage. For better for worse. In sickness and in health.

We recently saw the mockery of marriage from the Kardashian clan. Outside of the sanctity of marital union being treated so lightly, these folks and often so many others miss out on what the GET to do.

My wife is celebrating the beginning of what I believe (we never can remember) is her 47th year. For the past 14 of these, I have been honored to be her husband. And a few year's prior to our marriage, we became the best of friends. While this is a birthday and not an anniversary, I want to share a little about what I love about my wife and our marriage.

My wife is an amazing person who has always supported the underdog, and throughout our time together, she's been a tremendous supporter of me (a frequent underdog). She is beautiful and still carries the youthful charms from the day I met her and I am crazy about. She has maintained friendships since her youth and loves her parents (all three of them) dearly. She is devoted and can be counted on through good times and bad. She loves her children and desires the best for them and from them. She is imperfect. She puts up with me. And I love her.

And I love what we GET to do. We GET to walk through life together. We GET to struggle together. We GET to laugh together. We GET to cry together. We GET to serve each other. We GET to course correct each other. We GET to build each other up. We GET to love each other....even when it is hard.

Life is hard. Relationships are hard. But the robustness of life and marriage comes from what we GET to go through together. All of us.

I love you, Susan. I am honored you love me. Happy Birthday.

Reinventive Reality

Its been said that if you dress for success, you'll be successful. We react to things that happen in our personal or professional lives and try to change a status quo, change an appearance, change a perception, change something to what our idea of it ought to be.

Over my 40 plus years, I have reinvented myself (or at least tried to) on many occasions. I've dressed a part. Talked a part. Learned a part. Or pretended a part. I believe these reinventions are misdirected. The driver is not ourselves*. It's the girl. The neighbor. The boss. The client. And reinvention is not sustainable in and of itself. There needs to be transformation.

I am in my fourth year of being a non-smoker. There is a line in the movie Dead Again that states. "Someone is either a smoker or a nonsmoker. There's no in-between. The trick is to find out which one you are, and be that." Of course, mine was not as easy as finding out which one I was and simply being that.  I can recall so many times where I tried to reinvent myself as a non-smoker. After all, it wasn't good for my health, and the social acceptance had more than waned over the years. There were countless New Years, Birthdays, and Mondays which were to be my catalyst of change. But they weren't. I needed transformation.

You see, God made me (all of us), and wants a relationship with me. At its deepest level. And smoking was a stumbling block. A wall. An idol. I knew it. And I couldn't remove it on my own. I couldn't just find which one I was and be that. It took an act of God to transform me. And He did. When I stopped doing it on my own and allowed him to own it.

I've even tried to reinvent myself with God many times. And it has always been well intentioned. To be a better "christian", a better witness, a better husband, a better father, a better person. But I have found it unsustainable in and of itself without transformation. And He is in the business of transformation.

How many of us walk around wanting to be things that we (or others) think we need to be—to reinvent ourselves? I know I stupidly battle others' impressions of me and lose sight of God's perception. His eternal perception. He had something in mind when he made me. Why would I want to be anything different.

What do you wish to change. To reinvent? Can you just muster up the mojo and do it on your own?





*Surely we can learn new things to grow educationally or vocationally. Or take up things like kayaking, or running which are good for us physically, and perhaps spiritually, but this is not reinvention, or at least not as I am talking about it.