Too often we have an agenda where we'd like to "tell somebody something" or "let them know what we think" (air quotes inserted here—thank you Chris Farley). But I continue to learn that, even though I may truly have something to say, I am best served to insert my ear first. Surely I am not recommending entering into a meeting and staring at the person across from you, but if you are trying to accomplish something, you are best to engage the person you are with. Ask questions.
Now I know this isn't real ground breaking stuff, but I believe and have experienced that it is an all too forgotten art in communication. We all know it when we experience it. We've all entered into and sat and listened to a one-sided meeting or dialogue—not fun. And we've all experienced a truly engaging dialogue where both parties participate and share.
Even as parents, too often we can neglect to listen to our kids. Most have learned that kids are smarter, or at least more intuitive, than we give them credit for (after all...WE are the adults). It is too easy for us to proceed along with OUR agenda for the conversation that we miss out on some incredible communication with our kids.
I have been surprised at things I've learned when I enter ears first. Things like:
- I am wrong from the get-go
- There is a lot going on outside of my agenda
- We are already ahead of where I thought
- I may need to pull out of this conversation quickly
- We see eye-t0-eye
- Etc.
Within James 1:19, it states "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." I believe we are most effective in friendship and leadership when we can make listening a priority. Too often I/we do not.
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