Allowing Change

Interesting how much we change. Throughout this whole blogging thing, I have been quite introspective. I have taken many looks within, without, forward and backward. The look back sometimes has been scary. Sometimes fun. Sometimes surreal. But mostly challenging.

I recall when my wife and I got married we were at a different time of our lives—a way different time. We'd met in our, well my, late twenties. We were whooping it up quite a bit—sans kids, sans house, sans a bunch. Then one afternoon, we had a unique conversation about who and what we are, what we believe, and what we hope to be. This changed our relationship. Things were brought into a different light. Surely there continued to be some whooping, but the end game had changed.

When we were about to tie the knot, I had a chance to write a letter to the Pastor who was to marry us. I wanted to bring him inside our relationship. The history. The intimacy. The mistakes. The confidence in the future. I recall sharing with said Pastor that there would be some folks in the "audience" of our ceremony who'd shared some of our more whoopier times. My wife and I made a stand that day as to Who holds our future. We knew that there would be those who would say "I know them", "I know what they are really like", "Surely they won't change".

Even today, as individuals, we grow and we change (which we should). We make life decisions. We do our darndest to take a better path. The question is will others allow it. In our keeping up with the Joneses, we establish such an exterior. Our house is painted a certain color. Shutters just so. The yard trimmed to the best of our abilities. We may even have close relationships which are forgiving of some weeds in our lawn. But, how much change do we allow others to make. And how much will the Joneses allow.

It is easy for us to keep folks where we know them to be. I am guilty of keeping other people in my own perception of them. Right or wrong. Even as a husband and parent, I don't find it easy to allow for change within my own house.

We find it safe without things or people changing. We like to keep things where we know them to be. It is easier. During Barack Obama's run for the Presidency, he trumpeted "Have the courage to change". Certainly we should keep an eye and heart toward spiritual, intellectual, and physical growth and improvement. I'd also like to trumpet "have the courage to allow others to change."